Page 65 of Life

“Christ.” He stands up abruptly. “I gotta take a shower!” he says in an earth-shattering, gutted tone.

“Do you want me to come, I…”

He shakes his head. “No, no, babe. Sorry. I need to be alone.” These are the last words I hear before he storms up the stairs.

I slump back into the couch, holding my unopened letter, but it’s not the one I want to read. Not yet. I glance at the half-folded letter lying on the table. I can barely see the introduction of “EJ” at the top.

I shake my foot a hundred times like I’m powered by the Energizer Bunny. I glance back and forth at that letter and the stairs. If he didn’t want me to see it, he wouldn’t have so casually left it there for me to read. Right? I mean, he would have taken it with him.

The desire to open the letter is eating me alive one inch of flesh at a time. Slowly, biting away my resistance with every second, I can’t control the need to see what Tommy’s last words to his brother were. My heart is pounding so hard in my chest and sounds so loud in my ears, I may go deaf.

I close my eyes, tighten my hands into fists, and then open them to glare at the letter, willing it to magically disappear. It’s too late. I scramble for the letter, take one last parting glance at the empty staircase, and unfold it flat.

“Lo siento, Eli. I’m sorry,” I whisper.

EJ -

If you’re getting this letter, it means one of the pieces of shit I was going after turned the tables and took me out. Hopefully I got the bastard going down. Then again, I could have been taken out by a car crash. Whatever the situation, there are words between us that haven’t been said, and dammit, they should have been.

I don’t blame you for that night. Being put in the same circumstance, I don’t know if I could have made another choice, either. Right or wrong, I’m sorry it put a rift between us. Sorry for not backing you the way a brother should, the way a twin should. I was shocked and angry at what went down. Older and wiser, I know we both handled it wrong. Not only did that night end a life, it ended our brotherhood.

Too many years of not having my brother taught me a valuable lesson.

Family is everything.

I wish we could have fixed our relationship before it came to this. Just know that I wanted to. I really missed you, EJ.

Unlike years ago when you won Shelly Ann fair and square, though it busted my balls something good she picked you over me, I’m still going to do something I never thought I’d do…

Maria De La Torre is my girlfriend. She’s beautiful, man. Inside and out. But the woman has a fire I can’t contain. Lord knows I tried. As much as I wanted to think she’d stick it out with me, I know she was with me because I saved her from a bad situation, and she thinks I’m safe. She’s been dealt a shit hand. No woman deserves to suffer what she has, but my girl, Maria, she’s a survivor.

I want you to take care of her. Hell man, if you could find a way to love her like I do, I’ll be able to rest in peace. There is no man on the planet I would trust with the woman of my dreams but you.

I’m giving you my blessing, bro. And if I know you, and you know I do, we have the same taste in women, always have… She’s going to blow your mind. Please find her. Maybe she can love you the way she couldn’t love me.

On our blood vow as brothers, you owe me this last request.

Hold on to her. Keep her safe. She’s feisty, but if you can get her to love you the way she loves her friends, you’ll be a better man than me. And in my eyes, you have always been the better man. Give her the world. She deserves it.

All that I have, I leave to you. Be happy, bro.

~Thomas

Chapter Sixteen

Last night, I slept alone. First time in the past three days. I tossed and turned all night, half expecting Eli to come to me. Obviously the letter shredded him. How could it not? It tore a hole in my heart so huge I’m not sure anything manmade could ever repair the wound. Still, I wanted to be there for him, so when it was time to go to bed, I took off my pants and sweater and slept in a tank and panties, hoping he’d eventually join me.

I heard him downstairs, playing music softly. As much as I wanted to go down and comfort him, he needed his time. Hell, I needed it too. Due to that letter, I now have so many unanswered questions.

I don’t blame you for that night.

What happened between them, and why hasn’t Eli shared it with me? I’ve made myself available for him to open up to, but he always changes the subject. I told him everything that happened with Antonio on the worst night of my entire life, yet he still holds this back? Why?

Not only did that night end a life, it ended our brotherhood.

I can’t imagine anything so horrible that Thomas, my Tommy, would turn his back on his own flesh and blood. He was so committed to his family, even more so than to me. He doted on hismadre y padre. Something devastating had to have happened. It made me wonder if it had anything to do with Eli leaving the force. At one time, he admitted to having been a cop, working with his brother, but he left it a few years ago and became a bounty hunter.

Unlike years ago when you won Shelly Ann fair and square.

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