Page 26 of Life

Now that I’m thinking back, was it longer than the last month? Were we drifting apart? Before I can dig into this line of thought, the limo stops in front of The Bothin Burn Center at St. Francis Memorial Hospital. Our soul sister Kathleen Bennett has spent the last couple of weeks here since being released from the ICU after the fire. I look up at the glass doors and the white exterior. The building looks like pristine white Legos with dark windows stacked on top of one another.

Yin and yang. Black and white.

Now what side will our Kat be sitting on when I finally see her? Taking a deep breath, I lock hands with Gigi and let the linebacker lead us into the building.

Chapter Seven

“Just go. You’re suffocating me!” Kat’s voice is a grating screech as Gigi and I approach her room. “Carson, I need some space. Let me deal with what’s going on. I can’t even lift my fucking arm let alone sign my name! Stop asking me what’s wrong. Everything’s wrong. Everything!” she yells. The sound of our girl sobbing has both Gigi and me rushing in to comfort her.

Kat’s boyfriend, Carson, is pulling at the ends of his blond hair and pacing the small space. “Kat, I have to be here! I want to help,” he says before realizing we’ve intruded on their private moment.

“Make him go!” Kat sobs.

My girl wants him out. He’s fucking gone. Period. She comes first. My soul sisters always will. I walk over to Carson where he’s shaking his head. His face is a mask of frustration and anger.

“Car,mi amigo, she needs a little time to process.”

His lips turn pale as he stares at Gigi, who is holding Kat while she cries.

“It’s been a month. I’m tired of her avoiding talking to me!” he grits between clenched teeth loud enough for Kat to hear. Her crying jag gets louder.

I grab his bicep and tug him toward the hallway.

“Maria, that woman”—he points at the door we exited—“means everything to me. I need to be there for her.”

“Even if she doesn’t want you there?” I say exactly what I know he doesn’t want to hear.

He glares at the door. “I don’t understand why she keeps pushing me away. Before all of this, we were fine. Better than fine. We were amazing. I want to be with her forever, Maria. Forever. I want to marry her, have children with her. The whole nine. Why is she doing this?” His eyes glisten, and he turns away from me, once again yanking at the layers of his hair.

I slowly put a hand on his back as he faces away from me. “You have to give her time to wrap her head around this. She’s losing everything. The use of her arm, her ability to sew, her career. She doesn’t know what’s up or down right now.”

“So pushing me away is the answer?” His body visibly shakes with the amount of adrenaline I imagine is pumping through his veins.

I shake my head. “No, no, it’s not. But right now, she needs some time to figure things out. Give her a few days. Can you do that?”

He sucks in a deep breath, tightens his mouth and nods curtly. “Fine. But you sisters better talk some sense into her because she’s pushing too hard. I don’t know how much more I can take from her. She won’t talk to me.” His breath leaves his body in a whoosh of misery.

I close my eyes and nod. “I will, I promise. And, Carson, you can talk to me. I lost big too, you know.”

He drops his head and shoulders in a defeated posture. Then he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into a tight hug. “I’m sorry, Maria. Tom was a good guy. The best. He didn’t deserve what happened to him. None of you deserve any of this. God, I wish… I wish things were different.”

I listen to his heartbeat for a few moments, enjoying the steady rhythm. “Me too, Carson, me too.”

Carson pulls back and tucks his hands into his back pockets. “Take care of her for me, will ya?”

I smile. “Of course. Always.”

He nods, turns, and heads down the hospital corridor. I take a calming breath and head back into Kat’s room. She’s wiping away her tears with her left hand. Her right is covered from a spot under her neck down past her fingertips.

“How’s mygatito?”

She smiles briefly. “Losing it. Obviously.”

Gigi sits down on the edge of the bed and places her hand over her stomach.

“Oh! I know something that will cheer you up!” I grin and sashay around the bed.

Her caramel-brown eyes seem to light up. “Please. I could use some good news right about now.”

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