Page 42 of Mind

The screen comes to life and an image of me stops me momentarily. I’m in bed, my red hair fanned across the white pillows. My back is completely bare, the comforter pulled down to the swell of my ass. I’m sleeping. Nothing private is showing but I glance up and Chase just gives me one of his crooked grins. Later. I’ll deal with him later. For now, I need confirmation.

I dial the number and wait. It rings twice before I hear the most beautiful sound in all the world.

Bree. Alive. “Hello? Chase is that you?” Bree asks happily. “ I need to talk to Gigi right now!” she says excitedly.

“Oh my God, it’s you. You’re alive!” The tears I thought dried up have come back in a torrential downpour. It’s hurricane Gillian over here, and nothing is going to calm the storm soon. Maria grabs the phone from my hand.

“Bree, girl,” tears fill Maria’s eyes as she talks to Bree. Our very alive soul sister, who somehow escaped death and doesn’t even know it. “What? Phillip’s awake?” she says awe filling her voice.

Those two words start at my head and work their way down, settling deep into my heart. The muscle swells and warms as I whisper those words. “Phillip’s awake.”

“Gracias, Jesús,Phillip’s awake everyone!” she laughs and I cling to Chase tighter. “Okay okay,hermanastop. We have to talk to you. Who did your class this morning?” Maria’s face crumbles. “Tommy, girl’s name is Charity Kerns,” she says. He nods and heads off to give the information to the police.

Once Kat’s had a turn on the phone the three of us agree that we need to go to the hospital to see her face-to-face. We have to tell her what happened to Charity, her yoga mentee, but we also need to see Phil.

Life and death. Yin and yang.

Please Lord help us get through this.

Chapter 13

Gillian

When faced with death and the veryrealprospect of losing someone you love, it changes you. For me it’s a sense of self, maybe even a oneness with God and the universe as a whole. Watching Phillip battle to come back from the murky depths of his coma, seeing Bree alive when I thought I lost her forever…it’s more than an experience. It defines you and the rest of your life in a way that’s impossible to explain. I’m just different. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that I will always carry this experience, hold onto that fear, that overwhelming feeling of loss within me.

Entering Phillip’s room I see Bree, healthy, and most importantly,alive. A gasp slips from my lips as her head turns bearing an unbelievably beautiful smile. It’s one of those moments that hit you so hard with gratitude that it almost brings you to your knees. As it is, I have to hold onto the end of the hospital bed and take heaping steadying breaths. Then, I look up into Phil’s smooth brown eyes and I lose it. He’s giving me the frowny worried face, the one that always seems to break me, when I’m the one that should be worried over him. It’s he who’s been in a coma for the past month, he that almost lost his life because of some sicko with a fetish for an unavailable redhead that’s so pale white she glows in the dark.

“Phil, Bree,” I croak.

Bree takes a few steps then pulls me into her warm embrace. It’s perfect. Everything about this moment is perfect. I run my hand down her back slipping my fingers through her long silky blonde hair. Hair that’s free of congealed sticky red blood.

“Honey, you’re trembling,” she squeezes me and I fall even harder into her small frame.

“You’re alive,” I pull away and look at her face. Tears fill her eyes in sympathy though she doesn’t know why I’m beside myself with relief. Slowly I place a hand over her stomach and a hiccupping sob rips through my throat. Baby’s fine, nestled in the safety of Bree’s womb. Without realizing what I’m doing or touching, Bree grasps my hand looks over my shoulder and then kisses my fingers.

“I’m fine,” she promises then gives me a hard look, moving her eyes from me to Phillip trying to communicate something I’m completely missing.

“Yeah you are!” Maria rushes in and tackles Bree. I let go and move over to the bed. Phil’s eyes are confused but watchful.

“Hey you,” I say though it sounds like the words have been put through a cheese grater.

“Hey, get over here,” He says in his usual bossy way. Something about it, perhaps the familiarity of it makes more tears fall. I get close and he clasps my hand, so warm. I lean down and kiss his dry lips softly, almost as if he isn’t real, then nuzzle his forehead. “You look like shit,” he says to me, eyes full of chastisement and worry. “You haven’t been taking care of yourself. You’re skin and bones,” his eyes hop around my face and neck as if he’s cataloguing and indexing every inch.

“Yeah, well you don’t look so dandy yourself there, handsome,” I joke falling into our very familiar sibling style sparring.

He closes his eyes and lets his head fall back against the pillow on an exhale. “Did you get married without me?”

I shake my head and smile. “Can’t. Who’d walk me down the aisle?”

Phillip swallows slowly and shakes his head.

“I missed you…so much,” I say before kissing his forehead. With light fingers I sweep away an unruly lock of hair, something I’ve done countless times before but this time feels like more. Everything feels like more when you know your friends are going to stay in your life.

Phil’s brows pull together as he looks over at Maria and Kat hugging Bree as if they’re never ever going to let her go. It’s quite possible they won’t. We’ve been through a devastating morning. I don’t think any of us plan to leave the others for awhile. When I look past the girls, I can see Chase and Carson leaning against the wall. Chase’s eyes are guarded. They skip all around my face, hands, and body as I touch my best friend. He sucks in a heavy breath I can hear from ten feet away. His chin is tight, teeth clenched. More than anything, he’s trying to tamp down his jealousy. Even if he and Phil have come to an understanding over the last several months, he does not like any man touching me. Especially a man who is pulling me down to his chest. My ear lands softly against the cotton fabric of Phil’s gown, directly over his heart. I close my eyes and just listen to it beat. Beautiful.

“We’re going to be okay. I know I’ve been out a long time but I’m back.” I nod into his chest and let the tears wet his hospital gown. Before long, I feel a hand at my shoulder. I expected it to be Chase but it’s not, it’s Maria.

“Cara Bonita, my turn,” she says her own emotions thick in her tone. I pull away and let them have their moment.

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