Page 30 of Mind

“And now we’ve had to cancel the wedding, because I can’t relax. I don’t know what to do about Phillip, my best friend, Bree, is hurt, and...and…” I tremble as the weight of everything pulls me under the tide.

Chase jumps in, “We’re not cancelling our wedding. Just postponing it a little while. Hopefully, we’ll have this stalker situation dealt with really soon. I’ve got any army of men working on this.”

“I’m beingstalked, Dr. Madison. A real life, scary guy, isstalkingme. This freak wants to hurt me. He wants to hurt my friends. Christ, hehashurt my friends. What am I going to do?” I screech. “Who else has this type of crap to deal with? It’s unbelievable,” I say everything as if I’m releasing all the pent up frustration of the past five years. Maybe I am.

The doctor takes a breath and hands me a box of tissue. I blow my nose loudly into the tissue. “Gillian, this situation is unfortunate. I’m sorry you have to go through it. Have you narrowed down who this individual is? Maybe someone from your past?” he says the words slowly, and I envision Justin, the sickening grin that would slip across his lips when he was about to lose his mind. Instantly I’m back there…

Woods all around me. The sun is setting as I run through the trees. Speckles of light flutter along the ground as my feet hit the dirt and leaves. Blood pours out my nose, into my mouth, and down the front of my shirt. I have to get away. If he finds me, he just may kill me this time.

“Where are you, Gil?” I can hear is voice not far behind.

I run faster, even though the coppery taste of my own blood makes me gag and spit. I can only breathe through my mouth. He’s broken my nose again, and every heaving breath I take as I run, I swallow down more of my own life source.

My hands are painted red as I slam into a tree and whirl around it, trying and failing to catch my breath.

“There’s nowhere you can run that I won’t find you.” He laughs loudly. It seems to echo off the trees as if he’s closer, standing right in front of me. From this spot, I don’t know where he is, only that he’s close. I crouch down low. Tears blind me as I lean heavily against the rough bark of the tree.

For long moments, all I can hear is the sound of my own breathing. Maybe he went back to the campsite? I know there’s a road not too far from here. If I can just get to the road, I can flag down someone for help.

Standing up, I try to see through the now fully darkened forest. My entire body is shaking and the cold shock from the pain is setting in. Just as I take two steps forward, I feel a hand around my neck and one at my hip slamming me into the tree. My head hits the bark so hard I see tiny bursts of light.

“You think you can escape me?” Justin snarls before bringing back his arm and punching me hard in the stomach. All the air leaves my lungs in a giant whoosh. Pain lances through my abdomen. He pins me to the tree with the weight of his body and pulls my hands up over my head. Justin cocks his head and looks at every facet of my face, his dry, cracked lips curling into a sneer. Leaning close he drags an unshaven cheek against mine. I can feel his lips against my ear. “Remember when you said you were mine forever? That was a promise. One I’ll never let you break. I’ll kill you before I ever let you leave.”

“Baby, Gillian, I’m here,” Chase’s voice enters my thoughts. I can feel his hand running up and down my back. The lights of the room start to penetrate my senses. I can see the French doors that lead off to the balcony, the mahogany desk in the corner, a wall of bookcases with medical texts and trinkets from around the world. I know this place. I love this place. This place makes me feel safe. Currently, I’m huddled into the corner in a fetal position.

“Come here, Gillian. I’ve got you, I’ve always got you. Remember, I promised to always bring you back,” Chase’s words reach my subconscious, and I fling myself into his arms. He holds me close, lifts me up and brings me to the chair I was sitting in previously. I hug him tight as he cradles me like an infant. Once my breathing comes back to a neutral pattern I uncurl my legs and look around. Dr. Madison is sitting in his chair, yellow pad held tight by his clenched hand, the paper scrunched up and creased, kind of like my heart after that flashback.

“I’m sorry, Dr. Madison,” I whisper and his head springs up.

“Gillian, you have nothing to be sorry about. I hadn’t realized that you were having the flashbacks again. This stalker business is bringing up some very old wounds, ones you obviously haven’t dealt with. How often are they coming to you?” He asks.

Shame hits me like a physical blow. “Um, I’ve been having them off and on for the past few months. When I moved in with Chase they were all but gone. Then this thing with Phil happened, now they’re back full force.”

“And the nightmares…tell him about everything,” Chase warns forcing me to be honest with the doctor and myself.

I close my eyes and let Chase’s scent fill my nostrils and calm me, his warmth replacing the chill deep in my bones, and his love washing away the shame.

“I’ve had one a night since the note appeared a few days ago at the hospital. I feel like I’m losing my mind, that I’m living in the past. The only thing that can bring me out of it is…” I suck in a breath as the tears spill down my cheeks.

“Is what?” Dr. Madison asks.

“Me,” Chase answers for me and I nod silently, not able to form words. “And I’ll do it every time. Gladly, baby. You’re mine. Not some sick fuck from your past that put his hands on you with hate. I swear to God if I ever see him…”

I turn in his lap and cup his cheeks. “No. He’s ruined enough of me. I can’t let him hurt you. Not you.” I lean my forehead against his.

“Is that what you think, Gillian? That Justin ruined you?” Dr. Madison asks softly.

I nod and look out the window. “I don’t even know why Chase would want someone so messed up. It doesn’t make sense,” I admit. Chase’s arms grip me tight. I scramble out of his lap and into the other chair needing the space to wallow in my own self-pity.

“Gillian, you are the best thing that ever happened to me. Not only are you the most beautiful woman I’ve ever known, your heart is bigger than those of a hundred people. You’re smart, silly, devastatingly intelligent, and your soul is pure. Iwantthat in my life. Ineedthat in my life, every day, forever.” Chase comes over to me and kneels at my feet. “No woman has every lovedme, the man I am withyou.” Chase swallows and kisses my hands. “You are not ruined. Baby, you’re perfect. Perfect for me.”

Nodding, I clasp his hands and kiss each of his fingers. “I love you, Chase. Thank you for being with me. Pushing your way in today. I needed you with me.”

“There’s nothing that will keep me from you,” Chase finishes kissing me softly as if he’s sealing his promise with a kiss.

Dr. Madison takes a deep breath and lets it out with a sigh. “Welcome back, Gillian. We have some work to do, with and without, your over-protective fiancé,” he grins at Chase. My man does not care. He just shrugs and pulls me up. He grabs my shoes and helps me step into each one. His hands skim up my legs in the process. A little caress letting me know our time together isn’t finished. And no, no it’s not. I’ll never be finished with Chase.

Gillian

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