Page 46 of Mind

“No! Don’t even fucking say it. No one’s safe. My friends have been targeted and almost killed. Several people in the gym died because of me!” I point to my chest so hard it hurts. “And Bree, she’d bedeadright now but no, a twenty-year-old girl with her entire life in front of her was murdered in her place…because of me!” I scream, tears pouring down my face. “So don’t tell me I’m missing out on life. I don’t fucking deserve to live!” The lethargy takes control and I slide down the wall across from the vanity into a heap on the tile floor. Hugging my knees tight I hang my head over them and let it all wash over me. The worry, the fear, the constant state of anxiousness. Seeing my friends looking at me with pity in their eyes. It’s too much. I can’t take it anymore.

Before long Chase crouches in front of me. “Gillian, none of this is your fault. You have to know that.”

“Do I, Chase? Do I know that? No. I know that wherever I go that might be where and when it happens. That the sick fuck gets to me. But then again, at least if he gets what he wants, he won’t hurt anyone else I love. That’s on me!” The tremble starts in my lips but moves down my chest and into each limb.

Chase’s face contorts into a deep scowl. “You listen to me. Whoever is doing this is to blame. Not you. Baby, look at me,” he moves his hand to cup my cheek. Using his thumb, he lifts my head, forcing me to look at him. “We will get this guy. It’s only a matter of time.” His words mean so much but fall short of curing the cold ache inside.

“But at what cost? Just like he said, who’s next? You?” I choke out the word on a sob. He’s definitely on the stalker’s hit list. If the stalker’s infatuated with me then he must despise the man I’m going to marry. The man I publically gave my heart to. Just the split second thought of something happening to Chase sends my stomach churning, and I’m ready to vomit. The crippling grip of fear seizes my mind once more. “I couldn’t bear it.”

Chase pulls me into his lap to straddle his waist. I cling to him like a second skin. “You won’t have to. But this isn’t healthy. You hiding out in our room…”

“It’s not our room.” I choke out even more miserable. It’s an overly directed, completely pretentious, uncomfortable guest suite that mimics old French antique style. Everything is a gaudy rose combined with gold tones and mixed with floral and striped patterns. There’s an overwhelming pink hue to the space that reminds me of an attempt to see life through rose-colored glasses. Apparently, Chase’s Mom has similar themes in her guest rooms as Chase does with his restaurants. If this room was a restaurant, it would be called “Pink.” Maria and Tommy are in the blue room, Bree in the white room, even though I don’t think she’s actually slept a night in it, and Kat and Carson are in the grey room.

My guy exhales loudly against my neck. “No, it’s not our room. I know you were just starting to connect with our penthouse.” His hands sweep up and down my back soothing my anxiety. As he holds me, I start the yoga style breathing that Bree taught me. It does wonders when I’m having a meltdown. “Baby, we’re going to have all the time in the world to make our home ours. Besides, I told you after the wedding we’ll be looking into a home, probably somewhere close to here. It’s a great location and the houses are top notch.”

I groan. The last thing I want to do is move closer to Colleen Davis. His Uncle Charles is great. So far I’ve been here a week, and I’ve avoided all communication with my soon-to-be monster-in-law.

Chase pulls my head back and rests his forehead against mine. “You don’t like the idea of moving closer to Mother do you?” I can hear the smile in his tone without having to look at his handsome face. I shake my head. Less than a year, and he already knows me so well. “No matter. When the time is right, we’ll carve out a place for us and our future children. If we can’t find it, I’ll build it. I told you Gillian, I’m going to give you the world.”

He nuzzles my cheek then kisses me softly. “I just want you.”

Chase grins and the ice around my heart cracks and falls, melting under the man’s spell once more. “Boggles the mind,” he shakes his head then holds very still as he inhales deeply. “I hate to say it honey, but you reek.” He cringes and I laugh. The first laugh I’ve had in over a week, possibly two. Quickly, he stands me up, divests me of my clothes and turns the water on. “Go, shower,” he pushes me into the large space surrounded by pink tile. Note to self: Never decorate anything in pink…ever.

I get under the spray and it’s pure heaven. The heat pounds against my sore neck and battered conscience. When I open my eyes, Chase is staring, his eyes seeming to trace every curve, lingering on my chest, legs, and most especially, the apex of my thighs. “Why don’t you join me big guy,” I offer.

He shakes his head. “Would love to, but then we’d never make it down to dinner, and there are three women who will literally cut off my balls and my dick if I don’t get you down for dinner. They’re starting to believe I’m holding you hostage,” he snickers. “Not that I wouldn’t,” he waggles his brows. I roll my eyes and turn around. His breath catches. “Damn, you have a fine ass. Makes me want to…” I turn and he’s holding his hands in tight fists as he looks his fill. The form fitting slacks are tenting, showing a mighty large bulge.

“What do you want to do?” I run my hands over my breasts seductively making sure to soap them fully, stimulating them into tight points. I open my mouth and tip my head back, catching some water in my mouth as well as letting the hot stream pelt my aching nipples.

Chase growls. “Lower,” he grates between his teeth.

I comply, not only to make him insane with lust but he’s making me feel wanton, desirable. All week I’ve only felt like an empty shell of a woman I used to know and respect. Time to come out of my shell. “Like this?” I move my hand between my thighs and stroke along the slick seam and moan.

“Yeah, just like that,” he says, his tone so thick with lust I open my eyes and am treated to the most beautiful sight. My man, his three-piece suit still on, eyes laser focused on me, only he’s opened his pants and let out his giant cock. His erection is enormous, thick and glistening at the tip as he strokes it with one hand. My mouth waters as I watch him pull on his dick, using fierce strokes, much harder than I ever would do myself. “Now put a finger in that pretty pussy, pretend it’s my finger,” he groans.

“Can’t baby,” I close my eyes trying to do as he asks. “Too small, you always feel huge inside me,” I whine.

“Press two fingers in, yeah, spread your legs wider. Open those lips and tip your pelvis so I can see you fingering yourself. Christ, you’re so fucking sexy,” he says, his voice strained, coming in sharp staccato beats as he tugs and moans through his own pleasure.

Chase thinks I’m sexy as I work to get myself off, but his beauty is undefinable. It’s as if he’s art in motion. His body is arched, bowed towards me in a way that suggests he physicallyneedsto be closer. The layers of his dark hair are wild as he thrusts forward, neck tipped back, the ropey tendons contracting with every movement. As those even teeth bite into his plump bottom lip, I whimper, wanting nothing more than to be biting that lip myself. His eyes open in a flash, sending ripples of excitement to swirl heavily in my body, like a balloon filled with too much air and is about to burst.

“Tug on that sweet clit, Baby. I want to watch you come. Come for me, only me,” he says—as if I need to be reminded. All of my pleasure is for him, because of him, and willingly handed over to him for eternity.

A soft cry forms deep in the base of my throat and works into a keening sound as I furiously work my clit with one hand, the other two fingers thrusting in and out.

“That’s it, now give it me, come with me,” he says with a deep rumble, one I’d recognize anywhere.

Just that tone, the wicked edge of his release tips me over and that overfilled balloon that’s bursts. Stars shoot in every direction as pleasure soars from between my legs, up my spine and through each limb. Beautiful, sweet release. Chase is right there with me, eyes half hooded, mouth tucked into a grimace as if he’s in pain, that feeling you get when the pleasure is so good it’s almost painful. I watch as the tremors ripple through my body while jet after jet of his release flows into the shower, mixes with the water and goes down the drain.

Chase white knuckles the towel rod as I balance myself against both sides of the shower walls breathing heavily.

“Feel better?” Chase says as he pulls off his clothes that were spattered from the showers spray and enters the cube. I’m standing struck completely stupid as my own personal Superman leaves his super suit behind and holds me bare ass naked. And what a fine ass it is, I think, mimicking Chase’s earlier sentiment.

“Much, but why didn’t you just join me earlier?”I could have used a nice hard cock.

He slicks his hair back as the water licks over his skin, making him glisten like a water God. Chase grins and pulls me into a deep, wet, kiss, one I could have used earlier when I had my fingers between my legs. “I told you, I didn’t want us to be late for dinner with everyone downstairs. You know me, Gillian. Once I’ve got you naked, spread open for me, I need hours to gorge on your beautiful body. The second I have my cock in you, time stops and a different type of play begins.”

I shake my head and finish my shower, and hop out before I get any ideas to take advantage of my wet, naked, man.

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