Page 11 of Mind

I nod. “He hit me a couple times, splitting open my lip, almost breaking my nose…that time anyway. Then he drug me by my hair and shoved me face first, bent over on the kitchen table.” There is so much tension coiled through Chase’s muscles, I stop and kiss his bare chest, then massage each arm.

“Go on. I know there’s more.”

Taking a deep breath, I continue the story. “He ripped off my panties, took the hot spatula off the stove, and spanked me with it. Well, spanking is the wrong word. He hit me so hard he broke skin and bruised me black and blue. I had to sleep on my stomach for a week. In class, I’d use my sweater as a cushion on the hard chairs so no one would figure anything out.” Chase’s breathing was tight and labored.

“Is that it?” he asks through clenched teeth. I shake my head slowly peering deep into his eyes. I couldn’t look at him when I said the last part.

“Then he raped me.”

It took a couple years and a lot of therapy with Dr. Madison to finally admit that what Justin did to me was battery and rape. Admitting it to Chase has me crying into his chest for a good thirty minutes. Chase is a trooper though. He soothes me, speaks softly, and promises me that no one will ever hurt me again. Remarkably after sharing the story and falling asleep on Chase’s chest, it was one of the best night’s sleep in my life. I wake before Chase. It’s Saturday, so we don’t have to work. Although I never know with Chase. Lately, he seems to be making more of an effort to minimize the amount of work he does on the weekends. Instead of waking him, I choose to let him sleep. He never sleeps for long, and after the emotional downpour last night, he probably needs it. Then it dawns on me…today is Bree’s birthday! I do a little naked jig, excited that we’re all meeting up at one of Chase’s swanky restaurants. I can’t wait. Excitement skips through my veins as I make my way into the bathroom. Having everyone I love get together in one place is such a treat and so good for the soul.

The shower is scalding when I jump in and adjust the dials. I begin to hum a tune happily working the shampoo through my hair and methodically rinsing it. Conditioner follows, but I leave that in to soak into my red tresses while I lather up the body wash. Mmm…I love the smell of vanilla and cherry. So does Chase. He constantly comments on how good I smell. Usually that comment is paired with a sexy smile, and I’d go a long way to see more smiles on his face. When the suds reach my thighs I look down and am taken aback.

On the side of each thigh are four perfect fingerprint bruises. Seeing the purple marks normally would send me rolling into another bout of self-loathing, but these don’t. Knowing these bruises are from Chase, a physical reminder of last night’s lovemaking, changes them into something akin to a gift. It’s just another bit of proof of the passion with which he took me, his haste to prove his love to me. They weren’t given to harm but to please. I’ve come a long way. A secret smile slips past my lips as I lean my head back and close my eyes while rinsing my hair. When I open them, I’m grinning into the face of the most gorgeous man on the planet.

“Hey, beautiful, what are you smiling at?” Beautiful is an endearment I’m a-okay with.

“Oh nothing, just thinking about you and last night,” I purposely glide my hands over my swollen breasts and down my ribs, abdomen, then legs. His eyes follow every movement as if he was caressing me himself.

His saucy grin abruptly turns cold, and I’m thrown back for a moment. The shower door flies open and a burst of cool air prickles against wet skin. I cover my breasts out of instinct and to prevent further chill.

“What. The. Fuck. Are. Those?” he points down at my thighs and the fingerprints.

I smile. “Those are a direct result of someone’s passion,” I waggle my eyebrows. He steps into the shower still wearing his pajama bottoms and hauls me against his bare chest. The water seeps into the grey cotton leaving dark, smudgy, soggy sections.

“Baby, I’m sorry. I promised I’d never hurt you. Christ! What is wrong with me?” He clutches my back sealing our bare chests against one another with no room to even let the water from the shower trickle through.

“No, Chase, no. I’m fine. We made love. Sometimes we both get overly excited. I’m not apologizing for the red streaks down your back am I?” He drags his head from the crook of my neck. A grimace mars his sculpted features.

“Really? You scratched me?” He turns around and sure enough, eight slightly raised lines pucker the skin of his muscular back. They won’t be long lasting. Probably a day or two and they’ll be gone, but for now, I love seeing them there. Anyone in the world could tell this man was taken and taken good!

I grin. “Not sorry, because I’ll do it again. Maybe tonight.” Biting my lip, I push at his wet pants and they sink to the floor in a squishy heap. “Never apologize for making love to me. I adore your passion, baby.” I give him my most sexy look possible. He needs to understand that he could never truly hurt me.

“It’s just, I don’t want to mar your skin.” He trails a hand over my breasts down my ribs until he drops to his knees. Before I realize what he’s doing, his lips are on the bruises, kissing and licking each grape-sized mark as if his kisses and mouth alone could will them away. I let him, knowing it’s important for him to make peace with this. It’s going to happen again and again, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I try to pull him up by tugging on his head, but he shakes me away. “Not done with you. Need to show you my love.” His words are simple but dig deep.

He gently lifts one of my legs and sets it on the seat inside the shower, opening me, my center at eye level with his face. The anticipation is thrilling, yet brutal as he looks his fill of my sex, water running down and gathering at the opening. I close my eyes when his tongue runs through the weeping slit. Bursts of pleasure jolt through me as he uses his lips and tongue to suck and nip at my most intimate place. Using his thumbs, he opens me further then plunges his tongue deep into my core. Every time he pleasures me this way, he takes me to new heights of joy, startling me with mind-bending orgasms. I start to shake holding myself up by leaning on the tile wall as he fucks me with his tongue. When he brings his thumb into play twirling it in tight circles just where I need it most, I break. A bone-melting cry soars past my lips, echoing off the walls in our steamy haven. Chase is right there to catch me as my legs tremble and give out. Strong arms hold me up while I gasp for air, the steam in the shower so thick it adds to the disorientation.

“Thank you, for trusting me. For loving me. I love you, Gillian.”

Right then, I know we’ll be okay. Reinforcing his feelings by making love to me doesn’t hurt anyone;it only heals.

Chapter 4

Gillian

When in Rome, live like the Romans. And that is exactly what I am going to do tonight. It is Bree’s birthday, and we are going to one of Chase’s swanky restaurants in the heart of downtown San Francisco. As with the classy establishment in Chicago, “Greens” as it’s simply named, rises above the clouds in a modern skyscraper not far from our penthouse. As a matter of fact, Chase pointed it out from the rooftop garden this evening where we watched the sun set while snuggled in each other’s arms.

After the bathroom incident this morning, my fiancée pours on the charm. He takes me shopping where we got Bree an incredible Buddha statue from an import/export store he owns on one of the many San Francisco piers. The unique statue will work well in her yoga studio. However, it’s carved out of solid limestone and heavy as the dickens. Originally, it was imported from India. I didn’t even want to think about how much it cost. A little sign near the bottom said $10,000, which almost gave me heart palpitations. I’m really trying hard not to complain about how much money Chase spends on things related to me. It’s his money and up to him how he chooses to use it. Besides, I am really excited about the gift. It is one of the most remarkable statues I’ve ever seen, second only to an ornate life-sized angel hidden away in a dark corner of the lot that caught my eye.

The angel is white with a greyish hue to her stone. A flowing garment draped modestly over her features. Her shoulders are bare and perfectly smooth showing the dips in her clavicle bones. The most extravagant feature is the wide wings that jut out spreading a solid five to six feet. She has both arms away from her sides but not held up in praise. They are level with her chest, both hands held up, palms cupped toward the heavens. The angel’s head is bowed down in a respectful pose. It’s as if she is accepting God’s purpose for her and becoming one with it. I fall in love with her instantly.

“You’re taken with her?” Chase’s lips graze the side of my neck under my ear sending spikes of excitement to skitter down my spine.

“She’s unlike anything I’ve ever seen.”

He nods against my shoulder and wraps both arms around my waist hugging me close, my back to his front.

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