Page 70 of Tell Me Lies

The last sight I’d ever want to see is Maci McKenzie in pain. But I can’t put her back together. I have a sick kid who needs me.

The same kid I need to protect from the truth about her mother for as long as I can. Even if that means keeping Maci away from us.

I sit in the stairwell, my head between my knees. I’m not sure how long I’ve been here, but it’s been long enough for dozens of people to walk past me. Even with my face buried, I can feel their stare. But we’re in a hospital, so seeing someone crying in a stairwell is probably normal.

I remember this stairwell all too well. After all, it was the same place I ran to and cried when my dad was declared dead. An accident I had been driving in. I sat here for hours, ignoring my mom and sister when they came from Boston.

When I finally stood up, I walked to the obstetrics unit, where I found Judy. I lied about who I was—telling her that I was a relative of the child’s—just so that I could see with my own two eyes that the baby was okay. That someone—besides me—had survived the crash.

I didn’t understand why, out of everyone, I’d survived. And why a pregnant woman had died. Even if it was her fault, what kind of cruel universe would take a baby’s mother away before they ever got the chance to meet?

If only Logan had been there at the same time as I was, I would have learned the truth, and then I never would have crashed into their lives a few months ago, making things worse for them. But the universe works in weird ways, and sometimes, your greatest blessings can also be the biggest heartaches.

I sit up, wiping my eyes and smoothing my hair. He doesn’t want me around anymore, which I know I have to accept because, at the end of the day, every decision Logan makes is ultimately for the well-being of his daughter. But I need to still be there for Amelia while she’s in the hospital. Besides, Logan looked so tired. He needs rest. For days, he’s been going nonstop. He went from playing in a hockey game to rushing home on a red-eye flight to take care of his daughter.

I push to my feet, and my legs are shaky as I make my way up the stairs. I’m going to Amelia. And I just hope that her father will allow me to enter the room.

When I peek into the room, Amelia is lying on her side, sound asleep, and Logan is sitting in the chair, talking quietly on the phone. I don’t want to eavesdrop, but it’s hard not to hear.

“Just grab me a change of clothes and Amelia a fresh pair of pajamas. She likes the ones that have cows on them.” He pauses. “Oh, and you can feed Clyde and let him outside if he’s there.” He utters the words in a grouchier tone than I’ve ever heard him use. “Oh. Yeah, I didn’t realize Maci called you earlier to tend tohim. Well, if you let him out again, just watch him outside. He likes to go down by the ocean, and I get nervous about that.”

He listens for a moment, still not seeing me.

“Thanks. See you in a bit.”

When he ends the call, I clear my throat. His eyes fly to mine, and there’s no missing the anger in them. That look that I wanted to avoid at all costs, this is it. He’s looking at me like I’m not even a person anymore when, hours ago, he looked at me in a way I’d only described in my books.

Maybe happily ever after really is only for fairy tales.

“What are you do—”

“Please, I’m begging you, Logan. Don’t order me to leave,” I whisper, taking a step inside the room. “I just want to stay here with her until she’s better. After that, if what you want is to never see me again … I’ll respect your wishes, and I’ll leave.”

He doesn’t speak; he just looks away. I’ve never been the type to push the envelope. I follow the rules because I’ve always liked to have rules in place. Right now … I’m putting my foot down.

Walking around to the other chair, I sit down. The veins in his neck bulge, and his jaw clenches tightly.

“Maci, I’m not playing fucking games,” he hisses. “My kid is in a motherfucking hospital bed, hooked up to an IV and getting breathing treatments every few hours. Now is not the time to fucking piss me off.”

“The last thing I want to do is piss you off, Logan. Or stress you out more than you already are,” I whisper. “You and Amelia opened my eyes, allowing me to see the world again. For so long, it hurt too much to look around.” My lip trembles. “I love her. I want to be here for her.” My eyes flood with tears, making it impossible to see him. “I love her, and I love you.” I sniffle. “I am in love with you. And I know you don’t owe me anything. But if it’s time for me to say goodbye to the two loves of my life, please, at least let me stay here to watch her until she feels better.”

I know he isn’t going to say the three words back. How could he love me anyway? Everything is far too messed up now. But I needed him to know where I stand.

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” he utters, standing up and walking to the window, staring outside. “Nothing will ever be the same, Maci. You have to know that.”

“I know.” My voice creaks like a door in the middle of the night when you’re trying not to wake the whole house. “I’m not asking for it to be the same. I’m just asking you to let me be here for her.” I pause. “Go home and shower, and I’ll be here. And when you return, I can go back to the cafeteria.”

His arm leans against the window, and I know he’s thinking about what to do. His lips part, like he’s going to say something, and that’s when I hear her sweet voice.

“Maci, you’re back,” Amelia whispers, her beautiful blue eyes opening wider. “I missed you.”

“Not as much as I missed you,” I say, fighting to keep the emotion out of my voice because this little girl doesn’t need the added stress of knowing something is up with me and her dad. She just needs to see that we’re both here because we love her.

“Are you going to stay?” she asks weakly, her voice raspy from her cough.

I don’t dare to look at her dad, worried I’ll lose it. For a second, I sit there, frozen and unsure of what to say. But before I have to, Logan beats me to it.

“I’m going to run home and shower and change, and Maci is going to hang out with you till I get back.” He pushes off the wall and walks beside the bed. Craning his neck down, he brushes her hair from her forehead. “Is that okay?”

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