Page 61 of Tell Me Lies

More tears spring from her eyes, and her face is filled with sadness.

“Okay?” I say sharply.

Eventually, she nods, but only once. “Okay.”

Isip on my vanilla milkshake, which hardly looks like I’ve had any, as Poppy polishes hers off.

Logan was taking Amelia somewhere to ride her scooter, and even though he invited me to tag along, I lied and said I had plans with Poppy. So, I texted Poppy, and thank God, she was free for lunch.

I wanted nothing more than to go with them, but this secret I’m keeping in—the one he begged me not to say out loud—I can’t hold it in anymore. It isn’t right. Not to Logan and not to Amelia.

“You seem off,” she says. She attempts to slurp more shake through the straw, but the cup is clearly empty. She pushes the glass away from her with a pouty look on her face. “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah,” I utter, mindlessly twirling my straw. “I’m fine.”

She gives me a look that tells me she knows I’m lying. One thing about Poppy is her ability to tell if someone is bullshitting her. I guess it’s because she was raised by wolves and constantly had to fight for her life, but it’s made her incredibly good at reading people.

“I am going to say this in the nicest, least offensive way possible …” She pauses, inhaling sharply. “You are acting like you did back when we first met. And I don’t mean that in a good way.”

I’d act surprised, but I’m not. I know exactly what she’s saying right now. Ifeelthe same way I did when we met. Hopeless. Lost. And like, no matter how much I think I’ve overcome my past, I haven’t. I never will, and that’s never been more evident to me than it is now.

“Spill it, Mace. There’s no sense in holding it inside.”

For a moment, I just sit there, not knowing if I should tell her or keep it in, buried deep. I’m scared of the way she’s going to look at me. Though I haven’t told her much, I know she’s been excited that Logan and I are … enjoying each other’s company, I’ll call it. Telling her the truth of the dark secret that connects Amelia and me more than I ever knew will change everything.

Not for the better either.

But I can’t keep it in. I considered telling my mom or Tessa, but I know they’ll give me that look of pity. With Poppy, I feel like I can be open and honest without her looking at me like my puppy just got killed before my eyes. Because Poppy has been through more shit than most people could ever imagine, and even though she can have empathy, she won’t look at me like my story is the most pathetic to ever be told.

I open my mouth, but I don’t look at her. Instead, I keep my eyes focused on the table before me.

“I know the truth about Amelia’s mom, Cassandra.” My lips barely allow me to whisper the painful words. “I know that she died in a car accident and Amelia survived.” I stop, swallowing the lump in my aching throat, begging it to allow me to say what I need to say. “And that Logan has kept the story hidden because he doesn’t want it in the press.”

“He told you all of that, huh?” she says softly. “You must mean something to him, Mace. He keeps that very, very private.”

My eyes dare to look at hers—but only for a split second. The lump turns to a mountain, and my eyes begin to mist, and I can’t help but look down at the table.

“You remember the accident I was in? The one that, uh, killed my dad?”

Even though I’m not looking directly at her, I can see her head bob slowly. “Yes.”

I inhale through my nose. “I never told you about the other car.” My voice barely croaks the confession, and my heart feels like it might stop beating. The words seem so impossible to say out loud to Poppy. How am I supposed to say them to Logan?

“It was a pregnant woman. She ran through a red light.” Tears stream down my face, and my lips tremble. “Her name was Cassandra.”

There’s no missing the sharp intake of air Poppy drags into her lungs as she connects the dots from what I just told her.

“Oh, Maci,” she whispers sadly before reaching over the table and putting her hand over mine.

“I’ve fallen in love with Logan and Amelia.” I sniffle. “And none of that matters because I …” I shake my head. “If it wasn’t for me, she’d have a mother.” Tears blur my vision now, making it impossible for me to see across the table when I lift my head to hers. “If it wasn’t for me, Logan wouldn’t have to raise his daughter alone.”

She doesn’t speak right away, and I drop my gaze down again because she knows I’m right.

Finally, her hand squeezes mine.

“You listen to me, Maci. What happened to Amelia’s mom was terrible. But she ran that red light. She was on her phone, and she ran into you.” Her voice grows thick with sadness. “You have nothing to feel guilty about. I know the story of that day. I’m one of the few who does. You were simply driving through a green light.”

I understand what she’s saying, and yet I can’t numb the pain inside my chest.

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