Page 47 of Tell Me Lies

“She was.” I nod slowly. “I never realized how many little—and big—things she constantly did for us until she was gone.” I swallow. “For a while after she died, my dad mentally checked out. And, well, let’s just say, I wish I could have told her sooner just how much I appreciated everything she did. That lady made our entire family’s world go round. And she somehow knew what each of us needed. Figuring all of that out took me a while after she passed—and I fucked up a lot for a long time—but eventually, I channeled my inner Amelia, and got it together.”

“Tell me about your brothers,” she whispers, giving me a small smile.

A grin tugs at my lips. They each might be a pain in my ass, but I love my three brothers and want nothing but the best for them.

“First in the lineup is Carter. He’s the opposite of Link. Wears his heart on his sleeve and isn’t afraid to tell it like it is, even if it’s not what others want to hear. To be honest, that made it easier for me to navigate being there for him. He knew what he needed, unlike me and Link. And then there’s me. Then Link. He’s the type to suffer in silence. He’ll pretend he’s fine, and I think, sometimes, even he believes it. So, we all had to find a way to be there for him on his terms after we lost Mom. And then there’s the baby of the family, Travis. He’s also the brain of the four of us—probably all put together actually. He’s the quiet one but would give the shirt off his back to any stranger.”

I think back to my baby brother crying at her bedside on the day she died and feel that stabbing sensation in my heart again. “He took losing her really hard.” I laugh lightly, wipingmy eyes. “When you’re the baby, I think you hold a special place in your mom’s heart.” I inhale sharply, knowing I’m rambling, and yet this woman sits here, listening to every word without interrupting. “I don’t know how she did it all, but she did. And she never once complained.”

“What about you? You told me what the others were like. I want to know who Logan Sterns is.”

“After my mom died, I just wanted to make everyone smile again. Or I tried to anyway. So, I kind of became the funny one.” I close my eyes for a second. “I told jokes and did stupid shit to lighten the mood. It didn’t work for a long time, but I didn’t know what else to do.” I shrug. “This is all I am. A stupid-acting goon who hates seeing the people he loves sad.”

When I wipe a tear away from my eye before it has the chance to fall down my cheek, Maci instantly notices, resting a hand on my abdomen. “I’m sorry, Logan. I hope me making the sauce didn’t upset you or make you sad on your birthday.”

I sigh. “Nah, it’s not that. I just wish I had a time machine that could take me back. I might not have been able to save her, but I could have been nicer to her in the weeks—even months—before she passed.” I scrub my hand down my face. “Just had a lot of anger and resentment, I guess.”

“What do you mean?” She speaks softly, but I can sense she’s confused.

“For a while, when she first found out her cancer was back, she and Dad kept it a secret from us kids.” Even years later, the agony of saying the words out loud still pierces my soul. “I know she did it to protect us kids. She knew she didn’t have long, and there was nothing the doctors could do, I’m sure. But, Christ, I just wish I had known sooner. I would have treated her so much better than I did.” My voice cuts out. “I didn’t know she was fucking dying.”

She looks at me for a moment, her beautiful green eyes burning into mine. “I know exactly what it feels like to wish more than anything that you could take something back. I don’t have the words to make it better, but I will say this: if something happened to you, would you want Amy to feel the pain and guilt that you do?”

“Fuck no,” I say instantly.

She gives me a sympathetic smile and presses a kiss to my chest. “I don’t think your mom would want you to either.”

When she lays her head back down, I just sit there, stunned for a few minutes. Stunned that her words could have such an impact, but truthfully, I never considered it like that. But I’m also shocked as hell that I’m opening up about all of this. This isn’t something I do—ever.

Eventually, she sits up a bit. “I should get going to bed. It’s late. And you have to be on the road pretty early tomorrow for that publicity thing in New York.”

When she starts to move away, I grab her arm. “Stay with me,” I utter, not wanting to let her go. Not yet anyway.

Tomorrow night, I’ll be in New York, all alone, while she and Amelia are back here at home. For now, I just want to keep Maci in my bed.

Her expression changes to an almost-frustrated look. “Don’t you think that will overcomplicate things?” she murmurs. “Us having sex? That’s one thing. Sharing a bed?” She shrugs, narrowing her eyes. “Is that really something you want to do, Logan?”

“Yes,” I answer with zero hesitation. “It’s my birthday. And I want you in my bed tonight.”

Her eyes roam my face—searching for any hesitation, I’m sure. But finally, she sighs. “All right,” she says, nodding once. “Fine.”

As she lies back down, curling her body into mine, I run my hand over her hair. “Also, I can’t deal with this heavy, sad, emotional shit anymore. So, I want one more thing. You know, for my birthday.”

She runs her fingertips across my skin in a stroking rhythm. “Yeah, what’s that?”

“Will you answer five questions about yourself for me?” I put it out there, hoping she’ll agree because, after all, I am the birthday boy.

“One,” she tosses back.

“Four,” comes from my mouth rapidly.

“Two,” she says with a small giggle.

“Three.”

“Fine,” she groans. “Go on. Ask away, Mr. I Love Baths More Than Showers.”

I tilt my head down to look at her. “How much of that interview did you read?”

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