Page 94 of The Dirty Saint

“I promise you that whatever we did in the past meant something to me. Everything I said to you was true. I need you to know that.”

I take in a deep breath and close my eyes.

“I, Joey Odeh, hereby declare that once a confession has been made, I am to kill Ezra Maya. And if I refuse, no money will awarded to me, and my mother’s cancer treatment will not be paid for.”

“Oh my god,” Ezra whispers.

“You’re leaving out the best part,” Michael says. “The beginning.”

“Haven’t I hurt her enough?” I yell.

I shake my head.

“I’m not gonna do it. Punish me all you want, but I refuse.”

“Well then,” Michael takes a pack of matches out of his pocket and lights one up. “You don’t leave me with much of a choice.”

He then places it on Ezra’s bare skin.

The scream that exits her throat is haunting.

“I’ll keep going,” Michael says. “If you don’t read the rest of that document.”

“Joey, please,” Ezra cries.

I want to look away. Everything in me wants to, but I can’t bring myself to do it.

“Ezra, I am so sorry.”

I start reading before I have a chance to convince myself to back out.

“I will try every tactic in the book, including sex and faking a relationship, to get her to trust me so that way when she finally does confess, she will die feeling betrayed. Just like Caleb did when she ended his life.”

“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Tears form in the corners of Ezra’s eyes, but she overlooks them.

“So you used me?” She questions. “And you had sex with me because of a fucking contract?”

“Ezra—”

“I let you in. I told you things I’ve never told anyone and the whole time I was spilling my guts out, you knew what you were doing.”

“That was before I developed feelings for you—”

“Bullshit,” she snaps. “You don’t have feelings for me.”

“That’s not true. Ezra,” I whisper. “Please let me ex—”

“No,” she cuts me off, her voice devoid of any emotion. “I’m done.

“So kill me,” she says.. “All I ask is that you make it quick.” She shoots me a nasty look. “I don’t want my son to think I suffered.”

* * *

That night, as Lana is asleep in the corner and Ezra is doing her best not to look at me, I feel like I’m dying. That the oxygen is being sucked from my lungs every time I think she’s glancing in my direction, only to discover that she never is.

“Ezra—”

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