Page 92 of The Dirty Saint

“I tried to hold it together, Brianne. I made sure that I was seen as someone who couldn’t crack. I refused to let my real feelings show because I knew if they did, I was fucked.

“But now I’m afraid. All the time. I’m looking over my shoulder, waiting for a hand to shoot out and take me to another god-awful place. I check on Noah thirty times in the middle of the night like I used to do when he was a newborn just so I can remind myself that I get to be his mother again.

“And I hate it. I hate every second of it, but I’m so accustomed to a life I never wanted to lead that I don’t know how to go back to what I had before. Hell, it may not even be possible.”

I look at Ezra, my baby cousin, who I realize isn’t such a baby anymore.

“Ezra Evaline Maya, there isn’t a weak bone in your body, but it isn’t my job to make you see that.”

“I just want to be okay,” she whispers.

I nod.

“I know.”

“When do I get to be that,” she asks.

Ezra looks to me for an answer, but unfortunately, I don’t have one.

But I really fucking wish I did.

During

JOEY

There are two parts of our deal.

The first one is a confession.

The second is death.

The only problem is I’ve fallen in love with the very person I’m supposed to kill.

I don’t want to keep hurting her. It isn’t fair to cause her any more pain. It makes me ill knowing all that has been done to her and how I’ve done very little to stop it all from happening.

I’m not ready for her to hear the truth.

Then again, I don’t think I ever will be.

22

Chapter Twenty-Two

During

JOEY

I wake to the sound of screaming, a blood-curdling noise that sends shivers up and down my spine.

Ezra.

“You touch her again, and I will skin you alive with nothing but my teeth, you sad sack of horseshit,” she snaps.

Lana lets out a cry as Killian rests himself on top of her, enjoying himself like the sick fuck he is. Every bone in my body convulses.

I’ve never been much of a man who sits back on the sidelines and waits for someone else to take charge of a situation.

But right now, there is very little, if not nothing, I can do.

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