Page 34 of The Dirty Saint

I can’t help but grin. “No, she didn’t.”

“Ezra, she just wants forgiveness.”

“She doesn’t give ashitabout forgiveness,” I snap. “Just like she has no real desire to repair anything. She made thatquiteevident when Killian called them that day.”

As soon as I mention that, my sister goes eerily quiet.

I sigh. “Lia—”

“How would you have liked her to react,” she whispers. “Her daughter was gettingviolatedin front of her very own eyes.”

I look at Aurelia, sadness creeping into my tone. “For being the older sister, you are so incredibly oblivious. How would I havelikedher to react? I would have liked her to scream, callthe fucking police, dosomething.Shestoodtheredisgusted.Atme.At herchild.And yet somehow,I’mthe bad guy andI’mdamn villain because I no longer care about mending our relationship.”

Aurelia wipes away the tears that have managed to hit her cheeks.

“She wasscaredfor you.”

I shake my head.

“She was scared for herself, and there’s a difference.”

I know my sister doesn’t understand. In her eyes, she grew up with a loving mother who would do anything for her. But me? I got a disengaged stranger.

“You don’t know the version of mom that I do. And believe me, I’m glad you don’t. But you can’t expect me to give warmth to someone who has only ever burned me.”

As a little kid, I tried to make sense of it all. I would tell myself that my mother’s love for me was just…different. Not better or worse. When she slapped me that day, everything changed. And when she broke three of my ribs, I no longer gave her the benefit of the doubt.

Aurelia nods, her eyes the ultimate beholder of sympathy.

“Ezra, you are so amazing, and you don’t even realize the half of it. Your strength, your resilience, all that you’ve been through and seen—it’s admirable. I just wish mom could see it, too.”

A smile forms on my lips, followed by a surge of sadness. My mother will never love me the way she does my brothers and sisters.

A tear goes to fall, so I turn my head around.

It’s okay, Ezra. There’s no need to come apart.

“Ez—”

“I’m all good,” I assure Aurelia. “I promise.”

The next smile never quite reaches my eyes.

During

JOEY

I stare at her, the pain in my chest rising. A mixture of fury and rage stirs inside of me, so much so that I feel like I can choke on it.

“If you have a question for me, might as well ask it. It’s not like I’m going anywhere.”

I look at Ezra, who is rocking a black eye and a busted lip. Her finger is wrapped in a make-shift cast, but if she’s in any discomfort, you wouldn’t know it. She hides it well. Too well.

“I want to understand what happened to Caleb Santo.”

Ezra nods, running a hand across her face. “What makes you think I have any information about him?”

“You dated him, didn’t you?”

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