Page 30 of The Dirty Saint

Captain Bard extends his hand out to me and gives mine a squeeze. “The army would be a moron to let you go, Lieutenant.”

I force a small smile, directing my gaze to the sky.

“Hey, I need to tell you something.”

Nathan stops short.

“Is everything okay?”

It’s now or never, Ez.

“I went to see Michael in prison,” I say, ripping the bandaid off. I leave out the part where Briggs killed Killian, and Killian killed Addison.

Nathan turns to me, furious. “You didwhat?”

“Look, Nate, it wasn’t a big deal—”

“He tried tokillyou, Ezra. Tell me how that’snota big deal.”

“It was only for a few minutes,” I assure him.

“So that makes it okay?”

I don’t normally justify my decisions to those who have never been in my shoes. What gives a person the right to criticize someone over something they know nothing about? But Nathan isn’t simply a random person in my life.

“He didn’t try anything with me if that was your concern. It wasn’t great—which was to be expected, but it could’ve been worse.”

“God, I am so angry right now, I could explode,” Nathan says, shaking his head. “Seriously, what the hell is wrong with you?”

I roll my eyes. “I’m a big girl, Nate. I can make my own decisions. I didn’t realize that was such a crime.”

After a few moments, my Captain looks at me with softer eyes.

“I just want to make sure that you aren’t putting yourself in danger out of guilt.”

“And I appreciate it, really, but I can handle myself.”

Nathan forces out a small smile. “So what’d he want?”

“To meet Noah.”

“Nofuckingway,” he huffs.

“Tell me about it. He sent a man to the house as a messenger. I was about two seconds away from sticking a bullet in between his eyes, but I,” I choke on my words. “I never wound up pulling the trigger.”

“But you wanted to,” Nathan fills in.

“Yeah,” I admit. “I did. And sometimes I think I should have.”

Nathan takes a swallow before nodding his head and changing the subject.

“So what’d you tell him?”

“I told him no. After what he did to me, I won’t let his sorry ass anywhere near my son.”

Or around me either.

Because I have a job to do, and that is to protect myself.

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