But then there’s the other part. The part where he’s been watching me. Where he knows every little thing about me. He’s been in my apartment. He’s seen me at my most vulnerable, seen the way I touch myself, the way I moan his name without even realizing it.
I should be terrified. I should be running far, far away from him.
But I’m not.
All I can think about is seeing him again, feeling him again, losing myself in the way he makes me feel. I’m not just thinking about it—I’m craving it. And that scares me more than anything.
He cleaned me up afterward, his touch surprisingly gentle as he wiped the sweat and tears from my skin. Then he told me I could stay. I didn’t miss the significance of that—it wasn’t just an offer. It was him giving me a shred of dignity back, but only because he allowed it. Even in that small gesture, the power was still his. He’s in control of everything, even my need for him, and I hate that I’m starting to love it.
I get back to my apartment and close the door behind me, leaning against it as I try to catch my breath. My hands are shaking, my body still buzzing from everything that happened. I feel like I’m going to explode if I don’t do something about the heat pooling between my legs again.
Without thinking, I head straight to my bedroom, my fingers already reaching for my pussy, still filled with his come. I can’t to my bed fast enough, as I collapse onto it, my hand slipping between my legs. I know he’s watching. I’m going to put on a show.
I’m soaked with his come.
I moan as my fingers brush against my clit, and the image of him, standing over me, his cock deep in my throat, floods my mind. The way he looked at me, the way he told me I was his—fuck, it’s driving me crazy. I can’t stop thinking about it. About him.
I circle my clit slowly, letting the sensation build, my body already on edge from the day. I can hear his voice in my head, low and commanding.
“Good girl.”
God, I want to hear him say that again. I want to be his good girl. I want him to ruin me, to make me his in every way imaginable.
I slip a finger inside myself, gasping at the sting. I’m bleeding and raw from him fucking me, but I don’t even mind the pain. It reminds me of him. My hips buck against my hand, and I bite my lip to stifle the moan threatening to escape. My other hand reaches up to my breast, pinching my nipple hard enough to send a jolt of pleasure straight to my core.
I can’t stop thinking about him. The way he fucked me, the way he made me feel so small, so powerless, but at the same time, so fucking alive.
I add another finger, pumping them in and out of myself, my body already trembling on the edge. My mind is spinning, lost in the fantasy of him.
“I’m going to fuck you in every way imaginable.”
I picture him on top of me, his hands on my body, pulling me onto his cock, filling me over and over again until I can’t takeit anymore. My fingers work faster, my clit throbbing under my touch as the pleasure builds to a crescendo.
“You’re mine, Lilith.”
I can hear his voice, feel his breath against my neck, and it pushes me over the edge. My body tenses, and I come hard, my hips bucking against my hand as I moan his name, over and over again.
“Sebastian.”
It’s like a prayer, a plea for more, and as the waves of pleasure crash over me, I know that I’m lost. He’s right. He’s the only god I’ll ever know, and I’ll worship him with everything I have. It doesn’t matter if he takes me to heaven or hell—I’ll follow him wherever he goes.
I lay there for a few minutes, my body still trembling from the intensity of it all, my chest rising and falling as I catch my breath.
But as the pleasure fades, the reality of it all comes crashing back down. What am I doing? What is he doing to me? He’s dangerous. I know that. And yet… I can’t stay away.
I type out a message to him.
I hesitate for just a second, but then I hit send.
We need to talk. Seriously this time.
Whatever this is, whatever is happening between us, I need answers. I need to know what he wants from me, what his endgame is. But more than that, I need him. Again. I can’t deny it anymore—the pull between us is too strong. But it’s not just the lust. I want to understand him. I want him to let me in, at least a little bit.
He knows everything about me, every detail, every weakness, every secret. I want him to trust me with something, anything. I need him to show me the parts of himself that he keeps hidden in the shadows, just like he does with me. I want more than just his body—I want to know him.
Sebastian
My phone vibrates on the counter, pulling me from the shadows of my thoughts.