Page 5 of Bonded Beyond Regret

“No,”she sighs,“it was the rogue’s fault.”

Silence descends between us just as I walk up the porch steps and into the packhouse. I’m filled with tension and a little bit of fear by the time I make it to Alpha Whitaker’s office. My knock sounds like a mouse is knocking on the door and the only thing I can blame is the worry inside of me.

It’s hard to remember that there was a time when I was a warrior in this pack. My confidence has taken a huge nosedive since then and I’m not sure it will ever recover. How could it? Nothing can bring Andrew back which means I’ll always be missing half of my soul. Can you come back from something like that?

“Come in,” Alpha Whitaker’s deep voice comes from inside the office.

Before I open the door, I wipe my hand on my jeans. Yeah, sweaty palms is not a good look, but there’s not much I can do about it now. I force a smile on my face as I step inside the office.

With the orange roll box held out in front of me like a shield, I try to keep my voice even, “You wanted to see me, Alpha Whitaker?”

The smile he gives me is genuine while his eyes assess me the same way countless pack members have over the last three years. I get it, but it sometimes makes me feel like a science experiment. Are they wondering if today is the day I have a complete breakdown? Are they trying to figure out how close I am to perishing myself?

They shouldn’t worry. I break down every day, but I make sure to do it at night and when I’m all alone. No one gets to witness my tears and the externalizing of my constant pain other than the Moon Goddess. And I don’t plan on leaving this world for at least another ten years. After that? Who knows, but I’ll make sure Aisley is grown and, hopefully, happy before I give in to the call of the moon and my mate.

“Please,” his voice is gentle and soothing, “have a seat.”

Just as I sit down, Luna Tilly comes bustling into the room without knocking, not that I would expect her to. She stops suddenly as her eyes widen and she looks between her mate, the pastry box, and me. “I’m so sorry,” she gushes. “I just smelled the orange roll and didn’t even think about knocking,” her tone is sheepish as she looks at her mate.

It doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t.

“Liar,”my wolf huffs as she lays down in my mind, content to watch the show.

Alpha Whitaker flashes a big smile at Luna Tilly before nodding toward the box. “I asked Nyx to come and meet with me and, if they had one since she was at the bakery, to bring an orange roll for you.”

Luna Tilly’s eyes sparkle, but she’s not looking at the box anymore, she’s looking right at me. I’m tempted to look over my shoulder to make sure I’m not mistaken, but then she steps right up to me and drops down to her haunches and puts us at eye level.

“Hi, Nyx,” there’s a softness in her voice that puts me at ease and almost makes me want to snuggle up with her. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Maggie and had the pleasure of meeting your adorable pup. Aisley has such a bright light inside of her. It’s my pleasure to meet you, officially,” she holds her hand out with her words and mine slides in without even thinking twice about it.

Huh. Must be some sort of Luna magic. My palms aren’t even sweating anymore.

“This is for you,” I whisper, not sure if I want her to stay close or if I’m hoping the sweet goodness of the roll she favors will give me some room to breathe.

The smile Luna Tilly gives me is almost blinding. “Thank you. I am going to devour this without even a hint of manners,” there’s a conspiratorial quality to her words that has me chuckling softly and her winking.

“Even though you’ve already gotten your treat, would you mind sitting in on our meeting, Tilly,” Alpha Whitaker requests.”

Tilly nods and sits in the chair next to me after putting the box on the desk in front of us. I’m a little surprised; I would have thought she’d sit on the Alpha’s lap. Apparently, he did as well if the pout on his face is anything to go by. Biting my lip is the only thing that stops me from laughing at how fucking adorable they are.

I’ve heard the rumors around the pack about their mating. But from where I’m sitting, they’re solid. Anyway, just becauseyou find the other half of your soul and the connection you share with your fated is gifted by the Goddess, doesn’t mean that life together is without struggle. I think it makes for a stronger mate bond.

The beginning with Andrew was easy. We hadn’t been friends before we found out we were fated, but we knew of each other. We both waited for our mates. We were excited about being paired together. Yeah, the beginning was easy.

But there were misunderstandings, disagreements, and fights. That’s life.

We always came back to each other and worked on it. Not just for the bond, but because we fell in love with each other.

“Nyx,” Luna Tilly’s voice is gentle and when I look at her and then Alpha Whitaker, I blush because from the look of concern on their faces, I have to wonder if they’ve called my name more than once.

“Sorry,” I murmur, “I got lost in my own head.”

Understanding steals across the Luna’s face before she takes a deep breath and reaches for my hand. I steel myself, a feeling bubbling up in my gut. I’m not sure if it’s good or bad, but I am positive it’s going to change my life.

Not only am I right, but for the first time in three years it feels like I have a chance to find a way forward that doesn’t have me drowning in mind numbing pain constantly. With one conversation, I have something I thought I’d lost forever—hope.

CHAPTER 3

SAMUEL

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