Page 2 of Loving Jamie

Their mum doesn’t even acknowledge Justin’s words. She just takes another puff from her cigarette before walking over to the sink and dumps the butt down the drain.

2005 – Justin (age 13)

For Jude’s seventh birthday the whole family is sitting around the kitchen table singing Happy Birthday.

The past few years have been better for the family. Mum drinks more often but she doesn’t seem as angry anymore. She isn’t super close to Jude, but he will always have his big brother to look out for him.

The screaming and fighting have calmed down over the years, and now that Jude is in school, he’s beginning to blossom into a happy child.

Throughout the next 15 years, after their dad commits suicide, things go from justok to awful. Mum and Jude’s relationship became more strained as the years passed by, but not through the fault of Jude.

Many nights I heard my younger brother cry himself to sleep. Some nights I even heard him scream towards the sky begging for answers – Why do you do this to me? Why am I stuck in this life where my mother hates me? What did I do to deserve this?

After every single beating, I always came to fix Jude up. Whether it was cleaning a bloody nose or helping pop a bone back into place, I was there.

But that wasn’t enough. He should never have been in this situation. And what makes it worse is that I allowed it. My baby brother was beaten to a pulp over and over by our monster of a mother and I did nothing to stop it.

That twisted fucking bitch repeatedly broke my baby brother.

I was meant to protect him, but I couldn’t and this time I was almost too late. This time she nearly killed him.

I failed him as a brother.

Chapter 1 –

Justin

The relief soaked into my bones when I heard the words, “We, the jury, find the defendant guilty of grievous bodily harm with intent under section 18 to Mr Jude Flynn.”

The years of my mother’s punishment towards my brother will always trouble me, but knowing that he’s now safe with Nate is the best thing I could have hoped for.

That’s how I found myself in the car with Jude’s best friend Jamie sitting in the passenger seat. We are currently on our way to Jude and Nate’s house after our stressful day at court.

I pull into the driveway of the house and turn the car off as Jamie unclips his seat belt and turns to face me.

“Are you ok?” He asks.

I shrug my shoulders. “I’m not sure. It’s a massive relief to know that she’s finally being prosecuted for all the horrible things she did to my brother. I will carry a lot of guilt for the rest of my life, but knowing Jude is finally safe definitely makes me feel a lot better.”

Jamie crawls from his seat and sits on my lap. He wraps his arms around my neck and places a soft kiss on my lips. Even though I’ve known him for years as my brother’s best friend, ever since the night Jude almost died, Jamie’s been there for me, a constant presence by my side. Without realising it, we became closer. Now we’re a couple and it feels right.

When he pulls back, he says, “I understand why you feel guilty, but the important thing is that he’s still alive. He will go to therapy and work through his issues when he’s ready.”

I don’t know how to respond, so I pull his face closer to mine and slot our lips together. I don’t know how long we kiss for when a knock on the car window interrupts us.

Opening my eyes, I see William peering through the window. Jamie giggles, “Oops, looks like we’ve been caught.”

I open the door and let Jamie crawl off my lap. When I stand up, William pulls me into a hug. His strong arms squeeze around my shoulders, and I allow myself a few moments to soak in his affection.

When I pull back, he searches my face for any sign of distress. He must see that I'm doing ok because he nods his head and allows me to step back from the hug.

A few hours later we’re all at Nate’s house where we ate some takeout food and had a few drinks. I'm feeling slightly buzzed and my brother is hammered. He’s hanging off Nate’s shoulders, giggling in his ear. He must not realise how loud he is whispering because everyone in the room now knows that the minute we leave, they are going to start humping like bunnies.

I look towards William and see that he’s already watching me. He tilts his head towards the front door, and I nod my head.

I hold my hand out to Jamie, stand up and say, “Ok, I think that’s our cue to leave. Call me when you’re awake in the morning, Jude.”

As we walk out of the house with Jamie clutching my hand and William on the other side of me, I say, “I don’t want to go home yet. Do you want to go to the pub or something?”

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