Page 131 of The Broken Aztec Princesses

Making a choice without allowing myself to think it through, I relaxed my arms and spread my legs out, inviting the thing to attack. Peace and regret settled into me. Peace at knowing it would all stop hurting soon, but regret knowing I wouldn’t see Violet continue to triumph over her trauma. I wouldn’t see her smile again.

The thing moved, faster than I thought it would, and collided against my shoulder, sending me to the ground. Blood seeped out from where the claws raked my shoulder, but I paid the pain no mind. I sat back up, not even bothering to look for where the thing went.

Titan suddenly lowered the block and snarled at me,This is not how we go down! Fight!

I’m tired of fighting everything. I’m tired of hurting.

You’re the one hurting yourself. You’re the one fighting yourself. You didn’t fight for her. Violet never made you fight for her. She willingly gave you her heart. You’re the one who gave it up!

Titan started to push forward to take control, but I pushed him back as I felt the demon dog-creature collide with the back of my head. I stumbled forward, landing on my hands and knees, trying to shake the stars that danced before my eyes

I’m not going to let you give up. If you want to die, do it when it won’t make Violet feel responsible for it. She doesn’t need our death added to her trauma,he snarled.

She wouldn’t t—

She brought you out here. She’s the reason you’re still here. She stopped Luna Bellarose from sending you back to Crescent Moon, so you could save face even though you didn’t deserve it. What do you think is going to happen when you turn up dead because she kept you here?he roared at me.

Shit. He was right. I couldn’t do that to Violet. I shook the last of the dizziness and looked up, determined to fight. The demon dog ran toward me again, but before I could do anything, something collided with it. The fight was over before it began. Once the dog saw it was outnumbered, it fled. Leaving me on my hands and feet in front of Elim.

“What the fuck was that?” Elim asked angrily, breathing heavily. “You didn’t even try to fight it!”

I didn’t reply because I didn’t have an answer for him. I couldn’t tell him I wanted it to be over. I stood and shook the dirt from my pants, ignoring the pain in my shoulders and back.

Elim continued to glare at me, and I saw the moment he realized what I was trying to do.

“You came here to die.” He said it so quietly that I almost didn’t catch it.

“Of course, I didn’t. I didn’t see it,” I lied. I couldn’t let this get back to Violet. She didn’t need more of my shit added onto her shoulders.

“Bullshit! I tracked it all the way to you. I watched you stare it down and do nothing. The only thing you didn’t do was ask it to kill you out loud,” Elim seethed. “You don’t fucking deserve her,” he ground out.

“I know,” I answered and walked away, but stopped when I pulled out my phone, and the screen lit up to display the time, showing the picture she drew of me as an old man on my lock screen. I turned around and slammed Elim against the nearest tree. “You fucking left her alone with that thing out here? Whereis she? You can’t leave Violet unprotected!” I roared. How could he just leave her alone after everything she’d been through?

“She wasn’t in the mood for training. I escorted her to her room so she could try to get some sleep half an hour ago,” Elim answered, and I let him go, relief washing over me.

“I’m sorry,” I mumbled at him.

“You should be. You’re hurting her.”

I walked away, feeling worse than when the night began. My wounds were healed by the time I got up to my room, though I knew by the way Titan had blocked me again that it was more so Violet wouldn’t see them and worry, than to help me.

I went into the shower, dropping the torn, bloody shirt into the trash can. I stood in my pajama pants in front of the mirror after I was done, asking myself how I let it get to this point.

Where had my life taken such a nosedive? This wasn’t who I was. Maybe I was a grump, as Violet called me, but I never thought I was unhappy with my life. I was privileged. I grew up in a house with two loving parents, stability, and friends. I liked my job, more or less. The only time I ever thought to do what I almost let happen tonight was when I rejected Traci, but even then, it was in passing. The thought came and went so fast, that only Titan’s reaction to it confirmed that it actually happened.

I had been struggling with finding any joy in life over the past year, but I never got depressed enough to consider letting it all end. I thought if I kept pushing, if I became someone, if I was good enough, I could find someone who would love me with or without a mate bond someday.

It was those two weeks, I knew. I allowed the shining light and strength that radiated from Violet to fill me with warmth, and now that it was gone, everything felt dark and cold. Now that I put that light out, I was drowning in the darkness.

I looked over at the closed door to Violet’s room. There was light filtering under the door. She was awake. I could just goin there and beg her to forgive me. I would beg her to give me another chance and let me prove to her that I could keep her safe, that I could make her happy. Because now I knew that she was the only one who could make me happy.

She was my light.

My feet took me to the door and I found my hand wrapping around the doorknob.

It might be locked. If she locked the door to stop me from entering, I knew there was no turning back, and Violet was done with me. But if it wasn’t, maybe there was a chance.

My heart was beating out of my chest. I couldn’t make myself turn the knob. I needed to be stronger before I found out. I released a sigh at the same time as I released the handle.

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