Page 121 of The Broken Aztec Princesses

This was my morning routine now.

Where before I got up looking forward to the day and spending time learning from and about Chris, even before everything happened, I was now going through the motions. My heart was hurting, but I couldn’t just wallow and let all the progress Chris and I made fall away. I owed it to him and, most of all, to myself.

I wasn’t sure how long it would take for me to feel better. Technically speaking, I was only with Chris for a measly two weeks. Then, why did it feel like I had lost my life partner? Thethought of being second-chance mates was in the back of my head trying to peak its hopeful head into the grim future, but I shook it off. Elim admitted to me he’d come up to see if we were mates the night of the full moon when he saw a few others find theirs. Chris had come up only a few minutes after that. So, I believed Chris when he said we weren’t mates.

It made more sense that Chris had given up on us so quickly after the confirmation. The Moon Goddess’ decision not to make us second-chance mates meant he and I might have one out there somewhere. Chris believed he wasn’t enough for me, and the Moon Goddess had only helped cement that knowledge in his heart. I couldn’t blame him, not really. But he was wrong. I didn’t believe the Moon Goddess thought Chris wasn’t enough. If anything, she probably spared him from the mess I was now.

So, here I was, trying to get better. For him, for me, for Nenetl. She deserved a mate, even if I ended up with a chosen one. I couldn’t do that if I couldn’t even leave my room.

I took a deep breath when my phone dinged and opened the text message.

Elim

I’m downstairs. No rush.

I sent back a thumbs up and looked back at the now-closed door to Chris’ room. Over the last week, I realized what I did to him. I pushed him past the point of comfort. I pushed past the boundaries he set when it came to me, and pretty much made him tell me that he liked me, despite knowing he was uncomfortable with starting a relationship with me. I put him on the spot. I may as well have forced myself on him, and for that, I felt a level of shame I’d never felt before. I should know better. Pushing something on someone with baggage was not only unkind of me but hypocritical after having made everyone around me tip-toe for over a year.

I needed to apologize to him and let him know I didn’t blame him or hate him. But I couldn’t yet. I needed to make my heart strong enough because I knew when I had that conversation with him, it would be a final goodbye. Maybe on the flight back home, when he could finally be free of me.

I sighed and opened the door to my room, ready to head down. I almost cried out in surprise when I saw a figure sprawled on the floor right outside my door. Light spilling from my room illuminated the figure’s face, and my heart sped up more than just from the initial scare.

Chris was sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall in the hallway. His arms were crossed on his chest, one leg crossed on top of the other, stretching across the hallway. It made it impossible to cross over him to my door and the rest of the hallway without waking him. His head was drooping on his shoulder, the deep heaves of his chest letting me know he was sleeping. I closed the door and leaned against it, my heart and head a mess. What was he doing there?

His words from what seemed like so long ago came to my mind.

“You deserve to feel safe, Violet.”

Chris was still trying to protect me. Having locked my side of the bathroom door, he was making sure no one could get to me without going through him. How many times had he done that in the last week?

Probably every night,Nenetl answered.

What does it mean?I asked.

He cares for us. But, we already knew that.

She was right. We knew Chris cared about us, but it didn’t change anything. I wasn’t going to try to change his mind again. It was too painful to live through the consequences of my actions once already. But the question arose: what was I going to do right now? After a few minutes of thinking about it, I turnedoff my light and set an alarm to ring in two minutes. When the alarm rang, I didn’t turn it off right away. Instead, I listened at the door. I heard the quiet shuffling of Chris standing and walking away. I shut off the alarm in time to hear the soft click of his door.

I walked out after waiting a few minutes. The space was unoccupied, and the light in his room was still off. I made my way downstairs. Elim was sitting in the kitchen, as he had the last few days. He put his phone away when he saw me and smiled. I gave him a small one back.

I was grateful he suggested continuing my training now that Chris was no longer doing it. I tried to argue that it wasn’t his responsibility, but he answered that it was what friends were for, and it broke up the monotony of his nights alone. It felt like I was taking advantage of him, knowing how he felt about me, but he assured me he didn’t expect anything from me, so I finally caved.

Talking to him was comfortable, and I still wanted to train, so I stopped arguing and accepted his offer. The training was giving me a sense of power back, knowing eventually I would be able to protect myself.

Training with Elim was different than training with Chris. I wasn’t sure if it was a good thing or a bad thing. It was just different. Chris always made sure to teach me how to use my own strengths to get out of a situation. He thought that while Nenetl was a part of me and she needed to get strong, part of both of our trauma was the fact that she had been unable to push forward while I was captive. If we wanted to stop being afraid, we needed to know how to deal with that situation again. While she was weak, it was the perfect time to learn how to protect myself without using the gifts she gave me.

Elim was a bit more feral about it. He was trained by the son of Aunt Kassie’s mentor. The man who became his mother’s beloved, and the only father he’d ever known. Elim explainedfights are never fair. I needed to use whatever I had at my disposal and not hesitate to use it. I was not only training to use my own strength but shifting my hand in seconds, using anything around me to get the upper hand. He even applauded me the day I threw sand in his eyes the first time I landed on the floor, and I got scared when he rushed at me with his fangs and nails extended.

Elim could be a little bit intense, but maybe that was a good thing. My shield was still a little wonky, but whenever he pushed me past my comfort zone, I found it would slam down at once. I apologized the first time he slammed into it and broke his nose, but Elim told me I should never apologize for protecting myself, and that making my gift work was always a good thing.

“So, you have siblings, right?” I asked as we were taking a break halfway through our training.

“Yep, a brother and a sister.”

“How old are they?”

“My sister is twenty and my brother is fifteen.”

“That’s a big gap between you.”

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