Page 59 of Ogres Don't Play

I pointed at her. “You lack a sense of hopeful possibility.”

She smiled a sharp grin at me. “Which is why I’m still alive. You, however, are full of delusional hope, which is why you took on the Music Hall.”

“I’m not stupid enough to challenge a troll in a battle that I know I can’t win.”

“No? Good. You could possibly hire an assassin.”

“And then there would be war. Also, I am sick of assassins.”

She raised her brows. “Sick of them? Are you telling me that there were more attempts?”

I sighed heavily. “I’ve been too busy with the Jubilee to really stress out about it, but yeah. Last time it was an elven assassin,and Rook thinks he might have been hired by my maternal grandfather.”

“The elf in you is trying to kill you? How exciting. How did you survive it?”

“He took the arrow for me, and I burned it out of him, then made him puke out the poison.”

She stared at me. “You burned it out of him? Elven arrowhead used by assassins, and you burned it?”

“I couldn’t have pulled it out, or it would have splintered or exploded, or… at least that’s what I learned in my weapons class.”

“Yes, the strategy is fine, but the reality is…You can’t burn spelled arrowheads.”

“I sang it into flames.”

“Sang it into flames?” She shook her head and leaned back in her overstuffed chair, crossed her arms, and studied me. “Instantaneous fire hot enough to burn metal without burning up your ogre lover? How is that even possible?”

I was starting to question myself. “I’d spelled him with dinner, spelling him all day, so he…No, that’s why I was able to pull the poison out of him. I suppose I played an underlying protection layer around the arrow, so when I turned the metal to ashes, it only burned the surface skin that touched the metal. I had an old elven music spellbook that I learned front and back. It was pretty basic, so I adapted it to different things over the years until it’s mostly instinctive at this point. Still, sometimes I really have to work at it.”

“Like spelling the dinner you fed your ogre lover? What was the spell? Were you trying to make him more amorous?”

I shot her a look. “No, of course not. It was a truth compulsion spell.”

“Ah, that’s much more ethical.” She stared at me with a cocked head. “So, are there music spells you can use to defeatthis ogre chick? Do you want me to hunt down possible texts in the library for you? It’s still a sketchy plan, but it beats you trying to defeat her with raw force when you’re clearly so incredibly musically diabolical. You’ll need a spell for armor, a really good spell for armor, as well as angelic armor in heavenly gold, if you can get some. Then you’ll need a spell to slow her down, and weaken her, then you’ll need a spell that speeds you up, and strengthens you, and then you’ll need a spell that…”

“You think it’s easy to learn new spells?”

She shrugged. “You get used to specialized kind of magic, like death spells. I can learn one of those with a glance at a scrap of paper. You’re used to learning music, so you should be fine. I wonder if they have some written as songs, then you could go out like it was a proper concert, except for the angelic armor, although some of those pieces are so pretty, you could definitely make a good presentation if you needed to.”

I stared at her. “You’re actually helping me plan this impossible thing.”

She stuffed her mouth with sushi and nodded, then started talking before she’d chewed it all. “Of course, because you’re a delusional angel. It’s either help you defeat her, or watch you step off the cliff with nothing but faith and hope. You don’t have wings, like your pretty brother, so you’ll definitely need a lot of rope. Not literally, unless you’ve had training with ropes, otherwise you’ll just strangle yourself.”

I stared at her. “Why do I get the feeling that you could easily set me up with an assassin?”

She smiled at me and tossed a knife in the air that came down right between my fingers, slicing the sushi roll I’d been holding. “No idea. I’ve got to get home. My husband will be worried about me. Also, now I want to hit the stacks and see what tomes I can find on elven music magic. Do you read elven?”

I nodded. “Of course. I know a smattering of most languages that involved themselves in the musical arts.”

She grinned fiercely. “Of course. I’m sure Elven operas are famous.” She leaned over the table and gave me a quick, rib-creaking hug before she pulled back. “Get some sleep. Magic takes more energy than… After the concert, do you feel energized or drained?”

“Usually I stay up all night after I play such enjoyable pieces.”

She squeezed my hand. “Perfect. Using music to defeat her might actually work then. I’ll send over whatever I can find in the stacks.”

“Tell the Scholar hi for me.”

She sniffed. “Mm hm. Tell your ogre lover hi for me, too.” She walked out, and Lanise walked in, like she’d been waiting outside the door.

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