Page 77 of The One That Got Away

‘That’s fan-fucking-tastic!’ she cheered as if I’d just won a lifetime achievement award rather than just screwing my ex.

‘Yeah, it really was. Until Jasmine and the massage therapist, sorry, the “Relaxation Facilitator” walked in on us.’

‘Nooooo!’ Sammie screamed again. ‘They caught Max giving you a beef injection? That’s hilarious!’

‘Abeef injection?’ I shook my head even though I knew she couldn’t see me.

‘Yeah! I heard someone call it that the other day and thought it was funny! They also called ithiding the salami, which is also accurate! Anyway, you’re distracting me. So they walked in as Max was giving you a good pounding? How long were they there before you realised? Did they take any photos for your memory book? Can I see them?’

‘No!’ I laughed. ‘Of course not! Luckily we’d finished…just. But they saw us naked. Max covered himself, but I didn’t get to my towel in time.’

‘You’re becoming a right flasher!’

‘Not intentionally, believe me. Anyway, when Max saw I was naked, he put his towel in front of me, which meant they got an eyeful of his dick and the full condom.’

‘Oh my God!’ she shrieked. ‘That’s hilarious!’

‘It wasn’t hilarious! It was mortifying!’

‘For you, maybe! But that was nice of Max to try and shield you. What a gent! Is he still as well hung as before?’

‘Bigger! I’m not even sure how that’s possible, but it’s true.’

‘You lucky cow! So what did your Love Alchemist woman say? You’re not gonna get arrested for public indecency, are you?’

‘We’re still waiting to hear what our punishment will be. But so far, no police have come knocking.’

‘Good. So have you hooked up since then?’

When I told Sammie how Max went down on me and that we’d been at it like dogs on heat ever since, she screamed with so much excitement, I was surprised she hadn’t lost her voice.

‘So yeah, he’s making me breakfast and I’m on my way to get the photos.’

‘You are living the dream, my friend! I’m so happy for you! Maybe I need to apply to this Love Hotel place. Sounds a million times better than scrolling through the apps.’

‘Definitely.’

‘You owe your mum the biggest bouquet of flowers for setting you up with this holiday. Does she know what’s happened with you guys yet?’

‘No. You’re the first person I’ve told and I don’t want her to get too excited.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because this can never be anything serious. It’s just sex. Knowing Mum, she’ll start planning our happy ever after and for once, I’m just trying to have fun, y’know?’

Hearing myself say out loud that I was about to dive headfirst into a holiday fling was weird.

I’d always been a relationship kind of girl, and once I’d got my head around the fact that I was coming to this hotel, I secretly hoped I’d find my perfect match, but I had to be realistic. Whilst now I realised Max still fancied me, I was pretty sure that he didn’t have any interest in settling down. So instead of overthinking things like I normally did, I was going to just try enjoying the moment and go with the flow for a change.

If I had zero expectations, I wouldn’t be disappointed.

‘I hear you. I think you’re doing the right thing. Just enjoy yourself. Try not to get too in your head about what it means and what’ll happen next, okay.’

‘I’ll do my best. Oh, shit.’ My eyes widened as I saw Jasmine walking towards me. ‘I’ve just seen my Love Alchemist. Better go. Say hi to your gran from me.’

‘Will do! Happy shagging!’

I laughed and hung up.

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