Page 108 of The One That Got Away

Watching her walk out of my life didn’t just mark the end of the holiday. It marked the end of one of the happiest times I’d ever experienced.

And right at that moment I knew that without Stella, my life would never be the same again.

44

STELLA

Once I stepped off the plane, I headed straight for the toilets. When I took off my sunglasses and caught sight of my reflection, I gasped. My eyes were red rimmed and although my skin was darker thanks to the sun, somehow it looked grey instead of brown.

That’s what heartbreak does to you.

I didn’t know why I was so upset or why I’d spent most of the plane journey hiding behind my sunglasses as I sobbed into my shoulder.

Max had said from the start that he wasn’t looking for anything serious. And I was the idiot that assumed that just because I’d felt an intense connection towards him that it was mutual.

How could I blame him for what he’d said in the car when all he’d done was stick to our agreement? He was very clear about what he was able to offer. And I was the one that laughed at his suggestion that I might want a relationship from him.

I’d got exactly what I’d asked for. Something casual. That was why crying like a baby was stupid.

Instead of shedding tears, I needed to woman up, be grateful for the time that we spent together and move on. Simple.

After going to the loo and washing my hands, I headed to passport control. Luckily there wasn’t a queue so it wasn’t long before I was out of the airport and back on the train home.

As I looked out of the window at the dull, cloudy sky, my mind drifted. This time yesterday, I was on the beach, soaking up the sunshine, and listening to the waves gently caressing the sand.

I was inhaling Max’s beautiful woody scent and the fresh sea air.

I was snuggled up on a picnic blanket whilst we talked and laughed together, eating our delicious brunch, looking through photos and picking the final selection of songs for our playlists.

The playlist. I hadn’t even listened to it. I reached for my phone, then paused. There was no way I could play that now.

Instead, I continued looking out the window and reminded myself that the holiday was over. Just like my time with Max.

It was done. Finished. A distant memory. Time to get back to reality.

When I stepped through the front door, Mum was waiting, her eyes wide with excitement.

‘You’re back!’ She gave me a big squeeze. ‘I’ll put the kettle on so you can tell me all about it!’

‘Mum, I need to shower. And I’m a bit tired. Can we talk later?’

‘Oh.’ Her face fell and my stomach twisted.

‘I’m so sorry.’

I knew she’d been waiting for me to arrive and tell her everything and I felt terrible about letting her down, but I really wasn’t up to talking right now. I was doing my best to try and bestrong and just get on with things, but for some reason it wasn’t working.

‘Don’t worry. Have you eaten? I’ve made your favourite barbecue chicken stir fry.’

‘Thanks. That’s really sweet. Would you mind keeping it in the fridge so I can have it later if I feel up to it?’

‘Is everything okay?’ She put her hand on mine.

‘I’m fine.’ I squeezed her hand. ‘I’ll speak to you later.’

‘What the hell?’ I rubbed my eyes, then lifted my head from the pillow and squinted at my watch.

That couldn’t be right. My watch said it was nine o’clock. In the morning. Which meant I’d slept for fourteen hours. Shit.

---