Page 122 of Rule Breakers Fall Hardest

“I don’t know.” I rock Sammy carefully. “But obviously we have.”

He gets down on his hands and knees, peering under the bed. “Ah, here are a few.” He pulls out three. “I’ll go clean these.”

He hasn’t been gone more than ten seconds when Sammy’s stomach makes the worst rumbling noise I’ve ever heard.

And then he poops.

I gag at the smell. It’s awful.

An instant later, a warm and wet sensation crawls up the arm I’m cradling him with. Bile rises in my throat as I realize he’s had a major blowout that his diaper clearly can’t contain.

Nope. No. I can’t do this.

Gagging, I stand and hold him straight out from me. No wonder he woke up.

“Daire,” I scream. “I need you.”

After a heartbeat, I hear his feet pounding up the stairs, and then he comes running back in from down the hall. “What is it? What’s wrong?”

“He pooped.”

He gives me a confused look, his nose wrinkling at the smell. “Okay?”

“Look at his back.” I gag again, holding the baby out to him so he can see the massive poop stain. “It got on my arm,” I whimper. “I havepoopon my arm.”

Daire takes Junior from me, probably worried I’ll drop him.

I wave my arms as tears burn my eyes. I can’t stop gagging.

“It’s on me. It’s on me. It’s on me.”

Jesus, I’m hyperventilating now. This is pathetic, even for me, but there’spoopon me.

“Bathroom, now,” Daire commands.

I don’t even call him out on his bossy tone. Frankly it’s the exact thing I need to kick my ass into gear.

“Breathe,” he reminds me, flicking on the bathroom light.

He ushers me to the sink and turns on the water, then he grabs the bottle of hand soap. He squirts what feels like half the bottle into my palms and then puts a couple of pumps on my arm.

“I can’t touch it.” A whimper escapes me.

Daire sighs, holding a fussing Sammyto his chest. “My hands are a bit full, Rosie. You’re going to have to do this one yourself.”

I toss my head back and close my eyes. Chanting “ew” the entire time I wash up.

After I’ve scrubbed for a solid five minutes, I still don’t feel clean. I’m definitely going to be taking another shower.

“Can you start a bath for him?” Daire asks when I turn the sink off. “I think it’s the only way to get him clean.”

“Him and me both,” I grumble.

I turn on the faucet and wait for the water to heat, then make sure it isn’t too hot.

Miraculously, we get Sammy out of the pajamas and diaper without making an even bigger mess. Both go in the trashcan, and I tie up the bag and set it outside the door.

“You made some kind of mess, little man,” Daire croons, letting the warm water running out of the faucet clean Sammy’s backside. “That was nasty.”

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