Page 155 of Choose the Bears

“I checked every ingredient with the brain’s trust and then consulted with Doctor Google. You’re good. Now, be a good girl and have another bite.”

I lost all sense of time as food was shovelled into my mouth and the children fed from me. I’m sure there was some cycle of life metaphor to be made here, but I couldn’t make it. I was consumed by the whole process until finally the kids pulled free and started to fuss.

That’s when I knew how bad things were.

Holly set the bowl aside and then with great trepidation, approached a squirming Kai.

“Come to Auntie Holly…” she said, with all the enthusiasm you might use when calling a rat closer.

“What are you doing?” I asked, putting Sven on my shoulder to burp but one pat of his bottom told me his nappy needed changing again. “Do you even know how to change a nappy?”

“Duh, I’ve got lots of little cousins.”

But she didn’t sound so sure, laying Kai down and watching his legs kick in incomprehension as Alaric stumbled in through the door.

“What’s Holly doing here, and what’s she trying to do to Kai?” he rumbled before moving forward and taking over.

“I was creating a wee shield,” she said, waving a new nappy around. “Little boys are buggers. They always wee on you when you change them.”

“You need to be fast.” Alaric showed her how it was done and he’d never looked hotter than he did then. Muscles flexing, his hands moved like lightning to whisk Kai’s nappy off, then replace it with a fresh one before bringing my son back to me and retrieving a squirming Sven. “The change in temperature means they’ll often pee in response.”

The now clean baby was hoisted up on his shoulder, a clean cloth put on his chest as he started to burp the baby. When I tried to do the same, Holly took over. She only grimaced a little as she settled Kai against her.

“OK, shower time, and can I suggest washing your hair twice?” Holly said, looking me over. “Take your time. We’ve got the kids. Their bellies are full. They’re being burped…” Kai made a horrendous sound as he belched. “There it is. You sound just like every other bloke in Australia now.” She focussed back on me. “Go, go…”

I wasn’t about to argue, even though it took everything I had to walk free of the room, because when I pushed my hair back from my face I felt the greasy strands. I washed in record time, scrubbing viciously at every inch of me until I emerged pink and damp.

“Feeling better?” Holly asked, meeting me in the hall. Kai was now ensconced in the baby carrier I rarely used. I couldn’t help but move closer, checking how he was lying, whether or not his neck and airway was being compressed, but my bestie just shot me a smug smile when I was forced to step back. “Put some clothes on that are fit to go outside in.”

“What?” I took a step backwards. “No.”

“You need a stupid walk for your stupid mental health before the very loving family downstairs calls in a favour from a psychologist friend to help them stage an intervention.”

That was the thing with Holly. In amongst all the bullshit was the hard, unvarnished truth. If she was saying that, then…

I’d failed.

Sven let out a little wail, but was quickly soothed quiet again, and I realised I needed someone to settle me as well. Instead, I went into the room where I stored all my clothes and shut the door behind me.

Chapter 81

Holly

They hadn’t told me how bad things had gotten.

Nat was never exactly a chonkosaurus, but now she was positively gaunt. The analogy about the dog? That was entirely accurate, because I was willing to bet Nat was this close to losing her hair too. I needed to talk to my grandmother. The old witch had lotions and potions for everything that ailed you, and she’d have a cure for this too. Probably some disgusting soup with goat's blood in it or something. I shoved that lovely thought to one side as Natalie emerged with bright red spots in her cheeks.

Shit, she was pissed.

Foot, meet mouth, that was my general M.O., but when I went to apologise she just held up a hand. Instead, she ran downstairs with alarming speed. I was forced to look down at Kai, and damn that baby was cute. Those chubby little cheeks, those big brown eyes, they seemed to see everything, including the fact that his mother was moving away from him.

“OK, OK…”

I held up a placating hand and then moved, having no freaking idea what to do with a crying child. Jiggle, shush, singthem a lullaby, sacrifice men to a volcano, it could be any of those things, but right now I was pretty sure mum was his main focus. Those weird little grunty noises stopped as soon as he caught sight of Nat. She was putting the baby sling around her like it’d personally offended her, adjusting it then adjusting again before Alaric stepped in.

I’d never get over the difference the sleuth made with Nat. She went still, all that fractious energy dissipating as she stared at him. He held Sven tucked into his chest, the little guy burbling in excitement about the idea of going for a walk.

Um, maybe not at this age.

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