Page 57 of Play On

And Wednesday night, I’ll see if I can do just that.

Chapter Fourteen

Rainy Days

By Monday morning, I’m feeling infinitely better. The only remaining sign of my sickness is having to blow my nose on occasion, but it’s something I’m overjoyed to live with after the past few days of feeling like rubbish.

I walk across the grounds, listening to the birds chirping as I make my way to the gift shop to prepare for the day. The clouds are thick overhead, and rain is expected for most of today. I glance upwards, taking in the grey sky. It’s gloomy and foreboding. I know from experience we’ll have less visitors to the estate and grounds, and usually on days like this, I go stir crazy rearranging everything in the shop.

But not today.

I reach the small stone shop with the thatched roof and insert my key into the lock. The old door creaks open, and I step inside, taking stock of everything. It’s in pristine condition, which takes a lot of work after a weekend of tourists rummaging through it. I know Maria worked yesterday, and she did a fantastic job setting everything to rights again.

The shop is cosy and welcoming, with old hardwood floors and tables neatly arranged with souvenirs and gifts that relate to Wintersmith Hall. We have the standard items: tea towels with our estate printed on them, souvenir books, postcards. Thereare totes with the image of Wintersmith Hall, and T-shirts and hoodies.

Another table has things for the garden, like decor pieces, pots, tools, and packets of seed branded with Wintersmith Hall as well.

My gaze falls to the selection of local preserves, featuring the fruits of the region, tucked onto a shelf. My idea was to get bees to make our own honey, and market it alongside the preserves with Wintersmith Hall branding.

Of course, Nicholas shot that down immediately and laughed at it, as did my parents, chalking it up to another idea their butterfly would leave half abandoned once I lost interest or grew bored.

I’ve only confessed the truth to Noah and Aimee, I think.That I abandon things when I think I’ll make a mistake and disappoint people.

When I become convinced I’ll fail.

Nicholas guessed the truth, of course. And I could tell he was stricken that I took their words to heart in the way I did.

I slip out of my raincoat and hang it up on the peg rack next to the door. I leave the door open, as we always do to create a welcoming vibe to the shop, and move to the back of the till. The first thing I do is boot up the computer, thoughtfully chewing on my lower lip as I wait for it to come to life.

I retrieve the money bag from my tote and open the till, placing the money inside to be ready for the day, and slip my tote underneath. Next, I trim the wick on the vanilla buttercream candle on the counter and light it, as the scent makes the shop feel homey.

As the candle perfumes the air, I think about how I was so vulnerable with Noah. How did I ever get brave enough to share my fears with him? It was such a massive risk, showingself-doubt and vulnerability before an official first date. It easily could have killed his interest in me.

But not with a man like Noah.

I reflect back to our conversation in the garden and how he didn’t bat an eyelash at the fact that I’ve been stuck in a gift shop and terrified to make a career move.

I was brave enough to fight for a second chance with Noah, something I never ever would have done before. Now I need to continue to take these steps, but this time, with my eye on a career.

However, that is way more terrifying to me than approaching Noah. A career involves the possibility of disappointing a lot of people. The person who hired you. Coworkers. Clients.

Anxiety grips me as the computer prompts me for a password, and I key it in. I get queasy at the thought of messing something up for that kind of audience. I’ve got to take steps to move past that feeling.

Starting today.

As the Wintersmith Hall logo appears on the screen, I think about what I have planned for this morning. I’m going to be here, of course, ready for the tour buses to roll in for the first tours of the morning. But during lull periods, I’m going to start researching potential career opportunities that might exist in Dorset. There are some art galleries here, after all.

And I’ll also look at London.

Now, London has nothing to do with Noah—besides, he lives in Surrey anyway. If I’m to have a professional job using my art history degree, it’s the best place to look.

It’s also the best place for me to build a new life for myself.

I should have done this years ago, but something about meeting Noah—and hearing about what he’s done in the Premier League—has inspired me to be brave.

This is the first step.

I check the schedule for this week. I’m off on Thursday and Friday, so it would be lovely if I could get Maria to cover me for Wednesday, Saturday, and if I’m really lucky, Sunday. I see she’s not scheduled for those dates, so perhaps she’ll be interested in taking those shifts. If she’s not or can’t cover all of them, I’ll reach out to Diane and Ellie.

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