Page 75 of Kiss From A Rose

He laughed softly. "I went to see your Dr. Mercer."

"What?"

"She's the one who recommended my therapist to me. She, of course, kept your confidentiality, but she told me something interesting about myself. She said I'd do better with a male therapist because I have an implicit bias against women in professional roles."

I nodded and waited for him to continue.

"You're not surprised." He sighed.

I gave him a wan smile. "It's not overt, but it's there. I don't think you discriminate against women, but…it probably takes a woman more effort to convince you of her abilities than a man."

"That blew through everything I held true. Damn it, Rose, I have a daughter and a wife."

"Well, I don't have a job."

He scoffed. "Please. You've been helping Malou make this B&B a success since she opened it eight years ago."

"No, I just—"

"You keep the books, maintain the website, and manage the social media. I have no idea how you even learned to do these things andwhenyou did the work while you took care of all of us."

His praise made me feel ten feet tall. I thought if he or the kids ever found out they'd look down on me; think of this as a little side hobby. But it had never been that. I wanted to help Malou have financial stability and security, and maybe I knew that one day I'd need it, too. Even if I had doubts about Gray helping me if I left him, I never questioned that Malou would. I trusted her more than I did my husband. That sad reality was probably the last nail in the coffin of my marriage.

I was about to brush his compliment off but stopped myself. "I did it to make sure she had money, and that if a day came that I needed it, I'd have it too."

He looked sadandresigned. "You worried that if you left, you'd have nothing and no one but Malou."

"I have nothing and no one but her," I retorted.

I expected him to yell and scream now and tell me how ungrateful I was since he and the kids had all come here to be with me.

"You have me, babe." There he was with the gentle again. "You have our children. Hell, you have Mike. You'renotalone. I'd never ever let you struggle for money.Never."

"I keep expecting you to get angry with mebutyou don't," I admitted.

"I made a promise to myself to not raise my voice while I am here with you; because that just fucks up my intentions." He raised his hand and stroked my cheek. "I'm trying to woo my wife back. I'm on my knees for you, babe. I'm not gonna fuck this up."

"I don't want you to become someone else," I squeaked out.

"I'm becoming a better version of myself. And that's straight from the mouths of therapists."

I laughed. He could still do this, inject our lives with humor even now when I feared we were too broken to be ever fixed again.

"This man, the man who cracks jokes andspends time with me, disappeared a few years ago, Gray." Since he was making such an effort to be honest with me, I had to do the same.

"I know." He leaned down and kissed my cheek. "You have the silkiest fucking skin. Do you know that I get so hard around you that it hurts?"

I felt heat rise through me.

"I want you all the time. That's not lust, Rose, that's love. Not after all these years. You're the most attractive woman to me and—"

"Why did you leave me alone at all the work parties you dragged me to? You'd just abandon me to be with that Aimee woman." The words and the pain poured out of me.

"I didn't even know I was doing that until Holden and Justin pointed it out to me. Yes, Rose, I amthatfucking blind and stupid." He kept touching me, a stroke on my cheek, a hand on my shoulder, or on my hand like he couldn't stop, like he didn’t want to let me go. "I did discover that Aimee thought that there was something goin' on between us but admitted it wasn't because I gave her any such indication."

"Then why would she think that?" I mused.

"She said I was a decent man and wouldn't cheat on my wife, so once my wife left, she thought I'd be with her."

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