Page 6 of Kiss From A Rose

I didn't succeed in making him happy or even myself. Our kids, my babies who'd been mine until they'd grown up, had become Gray's.

"Stop being such a needy mother, for God's sake," Jude snapped at me when I called him at university.

"I'm fine, Mama. You need to get a life and stop worrying about us," was Willow's advice.

When I shared with Gray how it made me sad that my kids didn't want to have a relationship with me, he shrugged it off."As always, Rose, you're being dramatic. They're busy; that's all there is to it."

But they were not busy forhim.

Even when they visited, Gray and the kids talked at the dinner table while I sat mute, watching my family with pride like I had something to do with how close they were. I became used to being invisible. And after a while, it became comfortable, a cloak that I often put on.

We went to work dinners and family events, and I dressed right, spoke when I was spoken to and disappeared into the wallpaper.

Oh, I heard the whispers.

At forty-two, Gray was a handsome, wealthy man. At nearly forty, I looked my age. I may have learned to buy and weardesigner clothes, figured out how to eat with the right fork, and pair wine with food, but I was still Rose May from one of the poorest trailer parks in Atlanta, the same one they'd torn down a few years back because it was a health hazard.

"I just can't wrap my head around him stickin' with her, you know? I'd have thought he'd have moved on."

"You know she trapped him, don't you? She got pregnant."

"Maybe she gives good head. You know she grew up in West End."

"Well, imagine a Rutherford marryin' trailer park trash?"

"You know he's steppin' out on her, don't ya? I heard someone saw him at the Marriott with…(someone)."

According to the grapevine, there was alwayssomeonemy husband was supposedly having an affair with. I didn’t believe it. I didn’t even ask Gray, because that would feel like an insult to our marriage, to us. And asking might mean hearing an answer that could break my heart.

I rolled down the car window when my eyes got heavy, to let the cool air wake me up. I increased the volume on the sound system and sang as loudly as I could.

"Done lost everything…." Yeah, it was very à propos for me to singBad Luck and Troublealong with John Lee Hooker 'cause Ihadlost everything so I could find myself.

CHAPTER 4

Gray

The house was dark when I got home. Rose must be asleep, I thought.

But she always leaves a few lights on for me.

I flipped the switches, and a chill ran through me. Something was off. I felt it in the air.

"Rose, babe," I called out.

It was only nine. She wouldn't be asleep this early. I went to our bedroom, the kitchen, and then the dining room. Empty.

The table was set as it had been last night, and I saw the present from last night, still there and wrapped. I hadn't even bothered to open it.

Fuck!

Next to the present was an envelope with my name on it.

When we first started dating, she had no money, so she'd give me handmade cards with poems she’d written just for me. I smiled as I picked up the envelope.

It was heavy.

I opened it, and metal and plastic tumbled onto our dining table.

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