Page 68 of Kiss From A Rose

Okay, so all those strong, amazing, badass woman compliments did get through to me. I was hungry for acceptance and validation, and to get it from Gray and the kids was exhilarating. It also was un-freakin’-believable!

I calmed myself down and looked out at the water, letting him hold my cold hands in his warm ones, and watched the moonlight dance on the waves.

"Gray," I began after a long moment, my voice steadier than I felt. "I appreciate your apology. I think it's sincere. But there's more to it than just what you did or didn't do. I played a role too. For a long time, I didn't feel safe or comfortable expressing my needs. I became a part of the scenery of our lives, not a participant."

"I see that now," he said quietly. "And I'm so sorry for making you feel that way."

I sighed, sadness and relief swirling within me. I turned to face him, letting him see where I stood. "Thank you for saying that. I need some time to understand all of this, to understand myself beyond being your wife and a mother. I'm just now beginning to figure out who I am on my own."

Gray brought one hand to my face and stroked my cheek gently. "Can we keep talking? Not just tonight, but maybe tomorrow and the day after?"

The sincerity in his voice was evident, and I nodded, squeezing his hand lightly. "We can keep talking," I agreed.

CHAPTER 26

Gray

On Christmas Eve, I was introduced to Edgar, the handyman and all-around helper at the Angel's Rest B&B. The day before, I had met his cousin Lilah and her young daughter, Grace.

Lilah apologized to me for having to clean the rooms Rose had asked me to because she'd had to take the day off because Grace hadn't felt well. I was relieved to hear that my wife had help and told Lilah I appreciated her.

Edgar wore a tool belt slung low over his hips. He was young, around Jude's age.

I extended my hand to him. "Hi, I'm Gray. I'm Rose's husband."

He at once shook my hand, a smile on his face. "It's good to meet you, Mr. Rutherford. Miss Rose is amazing."

"Just Gray, and yes, my wife is amazing. She told me you do work around the house, and I wanted to ask if I could help out." Itucked my hands in my jeans. "I'm an architect, but I've done my share of construction work."

Edgar nodded, eyeing me momentarily before turning towards the sprawling lawn that led down to the cliffs on one side and sloping onto the beach on the other.

"Ah, there is something that maybe you can help with."

"Okay."

"We've got an erosion problem at the cliff’s edge," he explained. "Every storm, it seems we lose a bit more of the ground. Got a retaining wall there, but it's old, wasn't built right for what it needs to do."

I followed him down the path, noticing how the grass thinned as we neared the cliff's edge. The water spread out before us—a vast expanse of blue, both beautiful and menacing in its endless reach.

Edgar waved a hand at the retaining wall, a crumbling structure of stone and concrete that looked decidedly insufficient for its purpose. There were sandbags around it, and it looked like Edgar had done some patch-up work.

"See here," Edgar continued, "the wall's foundation isn't deep enough."

I studied the wall, considering the challenge. It was a serious issue; a poorly constructed retaining wall could lead to a disastrous loss of land, and with the B&B's proximity, it was not a risk we could afford. "It needs a redesign, something that can hold back the earth and handle the water runoff better."

"Yeah?" He looked nervous. "I have no idea how to do any of that. I'm…ah…studying to become a mechanic. I just help out around here. I know money is tight, and we can't get someone in, especially this time of year so I'm doin' my best, Mr. Ru…Gray. Is this something you can handle?"

"I think so," I replied, already sketching out solutions in my mind. "We'll need to excavate around the existing foundationand reinforce it with a deeper, stronger base. Proper drainage is crucial as well…to handle the runoff."

Edgar looked impressed. "Sounds like you know your stuff. I can help you, depending on when you want to start. Miss Rose said y'all live in Atlanta, and you'll be goin' back after the holidays."

"I'm not going back, not for a while. We can start this tomorrow," I said decisively. "I'll draw up some plans tonight, and we can look at them in the morning. We'll need to get some supplies, but I think we can stabilize that wall and protect the land here."

"Just like that?" Edgar looked surprised.

I smiled. "Yeah, son, just like that. How come you're working here and not at a garage?"

"I’ve been helping out Miss Malou, especially now that she’s sick. Lilah lives out back, so…I stop by." Edgar paused, thinking for a moment, then added, "Gray...ah...I wanted to thank you, too."

---