"What nonsense. It's y'all's money. You've been married for twenty years."
"And our prenuptial agreement clearly said that if I leave, I get nothing. I'm okay with that. I don't want anything. I have you and Willow; what more could I want?"
Feeling uncomfortable with this line of conversation, I got up and went to the other side of the kitchen island.
"Mama, Dadwillgive you money," Jude said confidently.
I pulled out the big bowl of yogurt I'd set in the fridge last night. I made my own yogurt with whole milk. It was better than store-bought, and the guests loved it.
"Mama?" Jude prompted.
"Honey, some things are between your father and me, yeah? Just know that I'm taken care of no matter what. Your father and I both love youunconditionallyregardless of our marital status."
Jude's head bowed. "You're really going to leave him?"
"I already did, Jude," I reminded him. "I'm not going back tothatlife. I…I don't know if I should talk to you about this. It's not your burden to carry."
"I want to know," Jude insisted.
I added some heavy cream to the bowl of yogurt and began to whip it gently with a whisk. "While y'all were home, it was okay,even good, sometimes great. Just life with its ups and downs. But after, I felt like I was disappearing, becoming invisible."
"Dad told me how when we were at home, he'd always come for dinner, but after we left he just started to work longer and longer hours."
I raised my eyebrows. Graynevertalked about hisfeelingsto anyone.
Jude grinned. "We had a long chat when we drove down here yesterday. He knows he fu…messed up. He knows that he made you feel lonely."
"Nobody can do that to you; that's something you do to yourself," I snapped. As soon as Gray was in the conversation, my calm and cool evaporated like water on a hot griddle.
"Because you're angry with him, Rose. Very angry with him and justifiably so," Dr. Mercer said at our latest teletherapy session.
"I don't hold on to anger. I'm not that person," I objected.
"We are allthatperson, Rose. Your husband may not have been screwing around, but what he did feels like a betrayal to you. He abandoned you at every step of your marriage, and you madeall thecompromises. You worked hard to become a good wife, but he, in your eyes, did nothing to become a good husband."
"He was a good husband," I said defensively and then added on a sigh, "for the most part."
"No one is entirely good or bad, Rose. This is about meeting your needs. Since the kids left, your needs changed, and so did his. You're still meeting his needs, but he's not meeting yours, and he's not going to know that until you tell him."
"Well, it's too late now, isn't it? I already left."
"It's never too late to tell people you care about how they affect you. Regardless of what happens to your marriage,you and Gray owe each other an honest come-to-God, conversation."
CHAPTER 22
Gray
"What are you doing?" she asked as I brought the breakfast dishes from the dining room into the kitchen.
"Cleaning up."
She put her fists on her waist. Her stance was both aggressive and vulnerable at the same time.
"You're a guest, Gray. You don't have to do that."
"I'm not a payin' guest, babe. You wouldn't take my money. Remember?"
She licked her lips. "So, you're gonna help me clean up?"