Page 76 of Kiss From A Rose

"That's a bit fanciful, ain't it?" Aimee had always seemed so level-headed that this was a surprise.

"Tell me about it. Even before I decided to take a leave of absence, I knew I had to do something about Aimee. She was also tellin' everyone that we were goin' to be together. I have no clue what's wrong with her—but it ain't my problem and somethin' I don't want to be dealin' with."

I sighed then. "My therapist asked me why I didn't just tell you that you were leaving me alone at these events, and I didn't like it." I paused for a long while. "I told her I was scared you'd tell me that you didn't want to spend time with me."

"Fuck, Rose," he groaned. "I love spending time with you. We always have fun. You make it all so much fun. The thing is, as my father started to fall ill, my need to show him how much better I was than him before he died drove me.Afterhe died, I couldn't stop. I wantedmoreprojects,moreprestige…justmore. And then you left, and I realized that none of that mattered. I just wantedyou."

"So, you didn't realize my value until I left you?" I asked. "If I’d known, I would’ve walked away years ago?"

He laughed, stroking my hair. "I can't live without you. I may have worked all the time, butthe truth is knowing you were waiting for me, holding your arms out, calling memy darlingGray—that was my sanctuary. You were andaremy safe space—so much so that I was selfish and didn't want to understand your challenges. I wanted your calm and your quiet. Not your concerns and worries."

He was laying himself bare—telling me things that did not put him in a good light. For a man with as much ego as Gray, I could imagine this wasn't easy. I said as much to him.

"The hard part isn't telling you, babe. The hard part was seeing myself, acknowledging my blind spots. I have no pride. No ego

. None of that when it's you.Youare my safe space. I can be with you. That'salwaysbeen true. You accepted me the way I was. You're the only person who knowsmeand loves me regardless of my ugliness."

I smacked his hand. "There's nothing ugly about you."

"Yes, there is, Rose. I've been a money-hungry, entitled son of a bitch—so entitled that I never bothered to meet your best friend 'cause she was from your past when you were poor."

I had suspected as much, but him saying it and yet seeing him carry Malou, hire a nurse for her, take care of her—made it clear that he also knew how to respect people for who they were and not where they came from.

"I was only gone four weeks," I teased, wanting to lighten the mood, "You've changed a lot."

"So have you." He gave it right back to me. "You never swore andneveryelled at me. Now, you seem to be doing both. I like it. I like that you're speaking your truth. I need to hear it. Iwantto know it."

He cupped my cheek, and I leaned into his touch.

"Give us another chance, Rose," he pleaded. "Please. I'll do better; be the best husband you could imagine."

I wanted to say yes. Everything inside me was geared to accept Gray. My love was fathomless, deep.

"I'm not ready," I whispered truthfully.

My words hurt him; that was obvious, but he was still smiling. "That wasn't ano. I'll take that as amaybe."

"Yes," I agreed.It was a maybewith a strong propensity toward yes.

"I'm here foryou. But I'm also here forus. I have a lot of regrets and—"

"Let's live forward," I cut him off. "We both can apologize or accuse or…whatever until the cows come home. But I want to move forward. I told this to Jude, and I'm tellin' you now. Let's look to the future, yeah?"

"Can you do that after all that I put you through?"

I put my hand on his cheek and spoke from my heart, "Yes, I think I can. But it's goin' to take time. Can you be patient?"

"Yes, Rose, I can," he promised.

CHAPTER 30

Gray

Hiring an end-of-life nurse for Malou was a decision that brought both relief and a somber acknowledgment of the reality we were facing.

Thomas was a middle-aged man with a gentle demeanor who moved with practiced care. He arrived each morning just as the sun's first light touched Angel's Rest, greeting us with a respectful nod smile before settling into the routine of caring for Malou.

I watched from the doorway as he efficiently organized his supplies, his presence a comfort in the shifting sands of our daily lives. He was meticulous in his duties, managing medications and monitoring Malou's comfort levels with an expertise that spoke of years in palliative care. His manner with Malou was compassionate, his conversations with her were kind, taking the edge off the harshness of her reality.

---