Page 19 of Kiss From A Rose

I had no one to blame, I realized. I'd taken my wife for granted, and my kids emulated my behavior andalsotook her for granted.

"It used to not be like that." Holden continued, "Well, you werealwaysworking and being short with her, but at least I think she was happy when the kids were little."

"She's a great mom."

"Considering the shitshow I have with Bonnie, I used to be jealous of how good you had it. Hell, even my kids liked hanging out with Rose, which was why Bonnie didn't let them. But then the twins became teenagers, and they changed. They're different with you. They respect you."

"They respect Rose," I bit out.

"No, Gray, they don't, and don't bite my head off; but it's cause you don't."

"Idorespect her," I snapped. But even I could hear my voice from the past in my head.

"For God's sake, Rose, I'm working. Can you just handle whatever it is? Someone needs to have a job in this family."

This was when she needed help with my mother.

"Are you serious about not having dinner ready, Rose? I told you a week ago we were having people over. How could you forget?"

This was when I ambushed her and didn't apologize for it, even after I realized I gave her three hours to set dinner up for ten people because Aimee had forgotten to call her about it.

"This is important, so please try to make nice with these people."

What I was saying was, don't embarrass me. But she never did, so why was I being such an asshole to her? It had become a habit to say these things to Rose without thinking about what it did to her.

But when I was with her, she made it safe and loving; she made my world a haven of love and warmth.

"I need you tonight, babe," I'd say after ignoring her for a week.

"My darling, Gray, I love you."

She always opened her arms for me and loved me the way I'd never thought was possible, the way I had never seen any other man experience. I used to feel proud that my wife was so devoted. My friends used to tell me how jealous they were. Now, I wondered how much pity they looked at Rose with. The wife at home smiled and cared while her husband was apparently banging his blonde bombshell of an assistant.

Nothing was further from the truth.

I loved having sex with Rose. She was uninhibited, and we tried pretty much everything. I remembered how afraid she'd been to try anal, but she let me because I wanted it. I'd hurt her even though I'd made every effort not to. I asked if we should never do it again, but she said she wanted to try again and again and again—until it took me a while to realize she didn't enjoy it and did it for me. But she still let me, so once in a while, I gave in to my need.

"You can say no to me, Rose," I told her.

"I know. But I don't want to. Everything we do, honey, is wonderful because we do it together. It's us in our own world."

Did she think I’d be angry if she didn’t submit to me? No, that wasn’t it. She did it because this was the time she had me all to herself.

"I can't believe after so many years of marriage, sex is still so amazing with you." I was still catching my breath after another fabulous round of lovemaking. She lay atop me, having ridden me to a mind-blowing release.

"I love making love with you. It's the time when we're just us. And it's precious."

"It's always just us, Rose. The kids have left home," I joked.

"Well, you get busy with work, so this is nice."

"Speaking of which, I'm going to be gone until the end of the week to New York. We have a big project there."

"Ah…do you want me to come with you?"

I set her aside and sat up. "It's not a holiday, Rose. I'm going to be working, and we'll probably have business dinners."

"Okay."

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