Page 82 of For Eva

I gave her an are-you-fucking-crazy look, and she held her hands up in defense.

“Okay, sorry, I’m just asking.”

“AndIcould askyouthe same thing about Marcos.”

“I told you, it was a business decision.” She paused and rolled her eyes. “Andfine, he’s a good guy and will be a great dad and blah, blah, blah.”

“I knew it.”

“Whatever,” she retorted. “I just want to make sure you’re happy. Like,reallyhappy. Because even though you’re my best friend in the whole entire world and will be forever, you and I are different when it comes to these things. I don’t need that mushy kind of love. But you do, Eva. And I just…I don’t know, maybe I’m crazy, but have you heard Eric Stratton’s latest single? Have you actuallylistenedto the lyrics?”

A pit formed in my stomach. “Yeah, I have. But what does that have to do with anything?”

“Eva,” she said, looking me dead in the eye. “They’re obviously about you.”

Fuck.

I remembered the postcard he’d sent me from Cleveland. That evening in late September on the “L”, coming home from work, listening to my Walkman. And the past week when the song had come on over the speakers as I was picking out lettuce in the grocery store. I’d been so rattled that I put my basket down and ran out of the store, leaving everything I was buying for dinner in the middle of the produce section. I ended upmaking up something about leaving work late when I’d called Aaron to pick up takeout on his way over that night.

Sitting on the rooftop

A long late night talk

Wondering if I’m falling for her

Wondering if I should walk

’Cause she’s not mine to love

“You told me about that night on the rooftop. When you gave him the fax about his stepdad, and everything started going downhill.”

My eyes darted to my lap, and I picked at the threads on the tear in my jeans. “There were so many girls on those tours, Denise. It could’ve been any one of them.”

“Then why is your face getting all red?”

“It’s not getting red,” I insisted, wishing my hair was still long enough to hide my cheeks behind it.

She raised her eyebrows and tilted her head. “Um, yeah, it is. You need to admit that he was—and maybe stillis—in love with you.”

“He is not, Denise. And even if hewas, which I’m sure hewasn’t, he’s over it by now. That was a lifetime ago.”

“Hardly.”

My shoulders dropped. “Well, itseemslike a lifetime ago. And I’m getting married infive days. To someone I love. To someone my dad loves. To someone who’s successful and stable and not gonna fuck me over.”

Denise pressed her lips together and nodded. “Okay, I get it. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

I blew out a breath. “It’s fine. I just…I can’t think about that part of my life anymore. I can’t think abouthim.” I pausedand leaned my head against the back of the couch. “I lied to him about not being able to come to the show when he was in Chicago. Told him I was gonna be out of town.”

Denise’s brows turned inward. “He was here, and you didn’t see him?”

I swallowed hard and nodded. “In March. But I couldn’t do it.”

“Eva, you saved the guy’s life, for Christ’s sake. You could’ve gone to see him. Even taken Aaron. Made it clear his friendship is still important to you.”

“He doesn’t know about Aaron, and there’s no point in telling him. I have to let that part of my life go.”

“Because of Danny?” she asked. “Eric isn’t like him, Eva. You told me how close you two had gotten over the phone and through letters. Until Aaron came along, I thought maybe you—”

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