Page 68 of For Eva

Anyway, enough about me. Tell me more about what’s going on with you. Have you made any decisions on future plans? What am I missing in LA besides reasonable weather?

Eva

December 15, 1989

Eva,

I cannot believe I’m sending someone an actual fucking Christmas card, but I saw this in a shop off Melrose the other day and couldn’t resist. Because what’s not funny about a card with George Michael on it saying “Wake Me Up Before You Ho Ho”?

My sense of humor is off, isn’t it? You can tell me.

Anyway…

So remember I told you I was looking back at what I’d written in rehab? I finally picked up an old acoustic of Keith’s the other day and put some of the words to music. I had him listen to a few things I’m working on, and he really dug them. Matt’s talking about moving back home to San Francisco, and Will’s with that other band, but I’ve been thinking about trying to put together something new. I don’t know if it’s a whole newgroup, or if I’ll do solo shit or what, but I miss being on stage. I really do. I need a purpose, I guess. My days are filled with twelve-step meetings and writing (oh, and water gun fights—still), but I need more. I gotta be honest and say that going back into the music scene scares the shit out of me, though. So many opportunities for…well, you know. I’m gonna talk to my sponsor and see what he thinks. I just miss it so much, Eva. So much.

I know when we talked on the phone last you said you were gonna talk to your dad. Did you do it? I’ve been thinking about that and wondering but didn’t want to call and bring it up if it didn’t go like you hoped. Let me know.

I guess this is where I sign off and say Merry Christmas and shit. Ha ha. Seriously, though, I hope you have a good one. Let’s talk soon, OK?

Eric

January 10, 1990

Eric,

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! And new decade! How the hell is it 1990?

I’m sorry I’ve missed your calls. The holidays and my job have had me crazy. I’m calling this weekend though, I promise! Of course, you’ll probably get my call before this letter. :) I’ll keep this one short since we’re definitely talking soon, but I can’t wait for you to tell me more about the new music. It needs to be heard, Eric. YOU need to be heard. And I know it’s scary to think about re-entering that world, but I know you’ll stay strong. Think of all the musicians who’ve gotten sober andcontinued their careers with even more success than they had before. If they can do it, you sure as hell can. Because you are Eric Fucking Stratton. And don’t you ever forget it.

Last thing—I did talk to my dad. I’ll tell you more on the phone, but it was so good, Eric. So good. He actually cried when he saw the tattoo and hugged me like he hadn’t hugged me since I was a little girl. Thank you for encouraging me to talk to him.

OK, enough before I start to cry myself! But I hope you had a good holiday with Keith and his family…and that his son didn’t get any new water guns for Christmas. :)

Talk soon!

Eva

February 25, 1990

Eva,

So I did it. I fucking did it. I went into the studio, and I recorded two of the songs I wrote. After hearing about you talking to your dad…about how brave you were to do that…I decided I could be brave, too. So, I rounded up some of the guys I knew from the old days and sang my fucking heart out. I gave the demo to Mandy, and she fucking loved it. She actually fucking loved it, and the label wants to talk with me and Keith about a solo deal. Can you fucking believe this? I’m, like, happy and scared and freaking out all at once. I don’t even know what the fuck to do. I mean, I want the deal…I wanna be back on stage, you know? But I’m terrified of what that means.

Keith told the guys I recorded with absolutely no booze or drugs in the studio. But you know once I get back out there, it’s gonna be all around me. I mean, if I can actually put a band together, are they gonna be cool with keeping that shit underwraps? I really fucking hope so because it felt so goddamn good to be in the studio again. To hear the songs really come to life. To know I can still write and sing and do what I love to do. But it also felt different without you there. Like, I kept looking over and expecting to see you sitting on the couch, your eyes closed, your head swaying back and forth, like you did when we recorded the first album. I miss seeing that.

Anyway, I’ll send you the demo if you wanna hear it. I know you’ll tell me if you think it’s shit because you never were one to hold back. :)

Talk to you soon, I hope.

Eric

March 30, 1990

Eric,

You’re right. Demo’s shit. Hang it up, man.

But seriously…what the fuck did you send me? Because I’m pretty sure it’s one fourth of a multiplatinum album. It’s good, Eric. It’s soooo good. Please, please, PLEASE tell me the label is offering you a deal because I need this to happen. YOU need this to happen. THE WORLD needs this to happen!

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