Page 66 of For Eva

“I’m okay. You know I can’t smoke those Reds that you and Dan—” I cut myself off as I started to mention Danny’s name. Itwas so instinctual to talk about him, like he was still part of my life. “Thatyousmoke,” I continued.

A twinge of uneasiness flashed across Eric’s face before he nodded and called over to the man who’d led us back to the room. Eric motioned to his cigarette, and the man followed us outside, allowing Eric to light his smoke.

The patio was decorated with cushioned wrought iron furniture, large hanging baskets of ferns, and several large ceramic planters filled with colorful flowers. There was an earthy scent in the air as the rain continued to fall. I sat sideways on the small couch, tucking one leg under the other, and Eric sat beside me, his long legs spread apart.

“So,” I began, running my fingers under my eyes “I don’t really know what to say. I guess ‘how are you’ is a good start?”

I laughed nervously, and Eric smiled, taking a drag off his cigarette.

“Besidesreallyfucking wanting a drink and a few lines, I’m doing okay. What about you?” he asked, gently touching my arm.

My face flushed, and a spark of electricity traveled through me. It caught me off guard, and I looked away quickly. “Oh, I’m, uh, fine.” I looked down, picking at the frayed denim around the hole in the knee of my jeans. “How was the hospital in Denver?”

He glanced up at the corrugated metal roof of the pergola covering the patio, smoke streaming from his lips. “Imagine having the worst case of the flu you’ve ever had. But you also can’t sleep, your heart won’t stop racing, and you think everyone is out to get you.”

“Christ.” I winced, then poked his knee with my finger. “But hey, you did it. You made it through.”

“Yeah. Now to make it through my time here. And then somehow stay sober once I get out.”

“So what’s the plan while you’re here?”

He shrugged. “I mean, everyday there’s group therapy and individual therapy. They put me on meds to help with the mental…stuff.” He took another drag off his smoke and looked over at me. “Fun times, right?”

We were silent for a moment, listening to the rain drumming on the tin roof, and I studied his face. I watched as the corners of his mouth turned downward, and his eyes flickered to the ground. “You know that stuff with my, um…my mom? It wasn’t true. I didn’t know she was sick. Her husband made all that shit up about trying to contact me. And having to call him to find out she’d died…it made me so fucking angry…so fuckinghurt. I didn’t know what to do except whatever I could to numb that pain.” He paused and took a drag off his cigarette. “I know you guys killed the story, but I need you to believe I would've helped her, Eva. Even after all the shit she said and did to me…I would’ve helped.”

“I knew it wasn’t true. You’re not that person, Eric.”

“And I know you’re hurt, too,” he said, sighing. “Keith told me what happened with Danny.”

My chest tightened at the mention of his name, and I swallowed, trying to relieve the tension. “Yeah, he…Well, he’s just not the person I thought he was.”

Eric snorted. “He’s a fucking asshole, is what he is.”

I raised my eyebrows and nodded, a loud sigh escaping my lips. “Yeah. That, too.”

“You were too good for him, Eva.”

His sky blue eyes met mine in a stare that sent a strange rush of warmth through my body. I broke our connection when the door opened behind me and two people stepped outside, settling in at a table on the far end of the patio. I looked back at Eric, his gaze still focused on me. My stomach fluttered and I cast my eyes downward, picking at the dark polish on my nails.

“Eva, I—” He cut himself off as he ran his hand along the back of his neck and closed his eyes. “I wanna say thank you. You know…for everything you did for me. They told me I’m alive because of the CPR. Because of you.”

I opened my mouth to speak but closed it when he placed his hand on my knee. “I know I said some really shitty things to you. Things I didn’t mean and I wish I could take back. But you still saved me, even after all that.”

I paused and looked down, trying to swallow the lump in my throat. “I, um…I couldn’t let you…well, you know. This world needs you, Eric. Weallneed you.”

“Maybe that’s true.” He ground his cigarette into the ashtray on the table beside him. “Maybe we’ve got a lot more ahead of us.”

“I knowyoudo,” I said, my mouth turning dry again as I thought about what I had to tell him. “But I’m, uh…I’m going back to Chicago.”

Eric furrowed his brow and shook his head. “What did you say?”

“I just…I can’t be in LA anymore.”

“Because of Danny?” He narrowed his eyes.“Fuck Danny.”

I closed my eyes and sighed. “It was a mistake for me to come out here.”

Eric winced, and I corrected myself. “I mean, not a mistake meeting you and Matt and Will and Keith. I’m so grateful for all of you,” I assured him, reaching out to touch his arm. “It’s just better that I go back home. Get a normal job. Live a normal life. I got so caught up seeing Danny again, and I need to figure shit out, away from LA and this crazy business.”

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