Page 48 of For Eva

“Did hesayit was your fault?”

“No, I just get a feeling.”

“Why don’t you ask him?”

“Because what if I’m right?”

“But what if you’re wrong? You don’t know till you ask.”

I shrugged. “I guess that’s true.”

“I don’t have to wonder what my parents think. My dad left right after I was born, and my mom made it clear she didn’t give a fuck when she let her husband kick me out when I was sixteen.”

“Jesus.”

“Yeah, I’ve always knownexactlywhat she thinks of me.” Eric shook the ice in his Styrofoam cup and drained the last of his Pepsi. “The first thing I ever remember her telling me was that I ruined her life. It’s also the last thing I remember her telling me, so kind of a fun full circle moment.” He laughed, but it was tinged with a sadness I could tell made him uncomfortable.

“You don’t talk to her anymore?” I realized that was a stupid question after what he’d just told me, and I waited for him to say something sarcastic. But he didn’t.

“Nah.” He took one last drag off his cigarette and tossed it in the cup. “Not since her husband told me to beat it.”

“Christ, I’m sorry.”

“I’m not. She’s a fucking bitch. I’m better off without her in my life.” Another plane flew overhead, and he turned his eyes upward, following it through the sky. “Anyway, new topic.”

“Okay, new topic.”

“How’s your job?”

I cocked my head and raised an eyebrow. “You really wanna know?”

“I really wanna know.”

“Okay, well”—I took a long drag off my cigarette, then watched as the plume of smoke dissolved into the air—“I fucking love it. It’s, like, of all the things in the world I could do, I was meant to dothis. And I think…Is it weird to say I think I’m really fucking good at it?”

He shrugged. “Maybe. ButIcan say you’re good at it, and it’s not weird.”

I laughed. “Oh, you saying it is even weirder, dude.”

“What? Why?”

“No reason. I’m just gonna take what you said and know that Eric fucking Stratton thinks I’m good at my job—the job he recommended me for, which is something I’m still trying to figure out, by the way.”

“You saved our album, Eva.”

“Oh, I didn’tsaveit, I just told you not to put a fucking tiger on it. It still would’ve sold…maybe.”

Eric rolled his eyes. “Now you sound like Danny.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, sweeping the hair stuck to the back of my neck over my shoulder.

“Nothing.”

“No, come on. What do you mean?”

“Nothing. I…Fuck,” he said, throwing his hands in the air. “Fine. What I meant was, I wish he’d give you more credit. Heknowsyou’re good at what you do, I just wish he’dsayit.”

“Yeah. Me, too.” My stomach dropped, and I took a breath. It was the truth, even if I hadn’t allowed myself to think about it much. I also hadn’t expected the words to ever come out of my mouth, much less in front of Eric, so I quickly tried to stuff them back in. “I didn’t mean it like that. Like you said, he knows. What I do. What I’ve done. He’s excited for me, he’s just…Danny.”

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