Page 35 of For Eva

“It’sEva, dude. It’s not like I picked some random person off the street.”

“You’re not fucking getting my point.”

“Whatisyour point?”

“My point is, you fucking overstepped, and I don’t want her—”

I paused as the two blonds shuffled into the living room in their rumpled spandex dresses, high heels swinging off the tips of their fingers.

Eric raised his hand. “Later, ladies. Good times.”

The front door shut, and Eric continued. “You don’t want her…what?”

I shook my head, trying to focus on the situation at hand rather than the fact Eric had banged not one buttworidiculously hot chicks the night before. “I don’t want her on the tour.”

“Look, if she’s gonna get in the way of you fucking around, then by all means, let’s forget it. I just thought you two were solid.”

“It’s not…”Fuck.I stalled, pulling my cigarettes from my pocket while trying to think of how to explain where my head was at. It wasn’t like I actually wanted to sleep with anyone else. But I also didn’t wanna have to act like a fucking choirboy while everyone else was having the times of their goddamn lives. “It’s not that, it’s just…she’s notsupposedto be there. This ismything, man.” I waved my hand between us. “Ourthing.”

Eric sighed and scrubbed his hands along his face. “Do you even realize what she’s done forourthing, dude?”

I ignored him and lit my smoke. “I mean, what’s she even gonna do while she’s there? Sit around and wait for Bryan to tell her to go get him coffee and shit?”

“She’s smart, man,” Eric said as I stopped pacing and landed in the recliner across from him. “She knows what works and what doesn’t. She gets what we’re about.”

I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose. “But she’s not part of the band, so I don’t…”

“No, she’s not, but let me just go ahead and list out what she’s doneforthe band since you seem to have forgotten.” He leaned forward and pressed his cigarette into the ashtray on the coffee table. “One, she’s a big part of the reason why we even have afucking tour to go on. I mean, yeah, we earned the record deal, but she saw an opportunity, and she ran with it.Two, she told us what to wear for every single photo shoot and was so right that the actual stylists on set didn’t even understand why they were there.Three, she saved our album from sounding and looking like an overproduced piece of shit.”

“Yeah, but—”

“But nothing. Do I seriously need to remind you that if it wasn’t for Eva, the picture on our album cover would be a woman in a chain mail bikini walking a goddamn tiger down Hollywood Boulevard?She’sthe one who told us to push back on the label if we wanted to sell the fucking thing to anyone other than thirteen-year-old boys. Once she stopped laughing, of course.” He sat back against the cushions, a look of satisfaction settling on his face. “So, you know…I’m pretty sure she’ll find some shit to do.”

“I’m not saying she’s not smart. But what the fuck, Eric? You don’t even like her, so why the hell do you want her on this tour?” I narrowed my eyes at him. “Something else is going on, man, and you need to tell me.”

He shrugged. “Eh, she’s a good kid. Not what I thought. But fine. I also figured if she was there you couldn’t freak out. You couldn’t worry about being away from her, lose focus, and wanna come home. But I clearly misjudged how much you’re gonna miss her.”

“I’m not…Just shut the fuck up about that. Iamgonna miss her. Stop trying to get in my head, dude. You don’t know what I’m thinking.”

“You’re right, Danny. I really fucking don’t.” He studied my face and shook his head before pulling another cigarette from its pack. “But whatever, man. It’s a done deal. Keith got Alan on the phone last night, and the label’s on board. So, ifyoudon’t want Eva to come, thenyoucan tell her.”

My face tightened as I stared across the room, past Eric, at an invisible spot on the wall. I was cornered once again, with no means of escape. There was no way I could tell her not to come. No fucking way.

I launched myself out of the chair and stalked down the hall without saying a word. I sat on the edge of my bed, elbows on my knees, working my palms into my forehead, hoping it would help get my head on straight.

What the fuck was wrong with me, anyway? Shewasmy girlfriend, the one who almost got away, just like Eric said. And the tour was only six weeks. Six weeks wasn’t forever. I’d have to find a way to be okay with it. I didn’t have a choice. Because I wasn’t gonna be the bad guy. And I sure as hell wasn’t gonna lose Eva all over again.

SIXTEEN

Eva

April 1989

“You guys are supposed to be at sound check at one. Then there’s press stuff back at the hotel before the show, so it would be awesome if some level of coherence could be maintained for that.” I looked around the bus and sighed, fairly certain thatgainedwould’ve been the more appropriate word since there wasn’t a sober—or at least non-hungover—person in sight, with the exception of our driver and Bryan, who was cursing and furiously adjusting the antenna on his Sony Watchman. “This is abigdeal, okay? Black Widow Rising got their start here, so please, please,pleaseEric, remember what city we’re in when you do the outro.”

Eric flung his head up from the lines of white powder on the table in front of him. The hair that hung in his face was dark and slick with grease, and I wondered when he’d last bothered to wash it.

I pressed the heel of my palm into my forehead to soothe the mounting tension behind my eyes. “Yeah, see, this is what I’m requesting younotdo.”

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