Page 23 of For Eva

“I had a lot of practice after high school.” I winked, laughing as his mouth fell open. “Thatwas for me having to hear the stoner guy from the alley talking about you fucking Chrissy’s or Candy’s or whoever’s stripper friend.”

Danny buried his face in my neck. “I’m sorry I had sex with Chrissy’s stripper friend,” he mumbled like a child issuing a forced apology.

His breath tickled my skin, and I giggled, attempting to wriggle out of his arms. “You’re forgiven, you’re forgiven!”

He lifted his head. “Am I?”

“Oh, please, you know I don’t care about that.”

“No, Eva,” he said, his eyes searching mine. “I mean, am I…forgiven?”

I swallowed, considering his question for only a second before realizing I’d spent the last four days simply assuming he was. I hadn’t consciously made the decision, but it had been made, nonetheless. I loved him. I always had, and there was no way around that. And while it scared me to open my heart back up, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I would ultimately be the one ripping it out this time if I didn’t give us another chance.

I threaded my fingers through the black strands hanging over his eyes and brushed them back, admiring how beautiful he was. “You’re forgiven.”

He cupped my chin and pressed his lips against mine. It wasn’t a desperate, passionate kiss, nor an invitation to do what we’d just done all over again. There was a calmness, a sense of relief, cased inside it.

Danny pulled away, rubbing his thumb along the top of my cheek. “You know, this whole week I kinda forgot you didn’t live here. And now that I remember, I wish you did.”

I smiled, not elaborating on the fact thatIhadn’t forgotten. “I wish I did, too.”

“Then move here.” His eyes widened, as if he was surprised by what he said, but the tone of his voice told me he was serious.

I furrowed my brow, his words slowly reeling one corner of my mouth upward. “Really?”

“I know this apartment is shitty,” he continued. “But I’ll get a better one. You can get any job here that you would in Chicago, and you won’t even have to have it that long if you don’t want to because I swear, the band’s gonna make it.”

I looked into his eyes, the gold in them shimmering with hope, and I wondered if the moment should have been a bit more complex. I pictured my mouth and eyes turning down.Saying something along the lines ofI need time to thinkorit’s not that simple. But none of those things felt authentic, because I knew the answer, and it wasn’t complicated at all.

“Okay.”

“Did you say okay?”

“I said okay.”

His face relaxed, and he dropped his head to my chest, my skin warming as his mouth spread into a smile. “I love you, Eva. You know that, right?”

My stomach fizzed and tingled, and I nodded. “I do. But give me a minute before I say it back.”

He cocked his head, a twitch of tension reappearing in his jaw.

“I feel like I’ve made all of this incredibly easy on you, and I wanna see you sweat just a little bit.”

“You’re killing me, Eva,” he groaned.

I looked up at the ceiling, counting to five through spurts of laughter, then tilted my head back down. “Okay, now I can say it.” I pulled him closer, my lips brushing over his. “I love you, too.”

TEN

Eva

April 1988

Istood at the beer cooler, trying to decide whether I needed to make the effort to haul more cases of Miller Lite from the back or if I could wait until Ronnie, the owner, showed up like he did every Tuesday to do payroll. He was perpetually grumpy but a good guy, so I knew he’d help me even though he’d complain about it the entire time.

I’d been at the bar, a no-frills joint off Melrose, for two months; it was nearly always busy, the pay was good, and the tips were even better. It wasn’t the corporate advertising job I’d had lined up in Chicago, but the only person who was disappointed by that was my father, who I thought would wind up in the hospital when I told him I was moving to LA.

I could’ve spared him at least some of the chest pain by simply saying I needed to get out of Illinois, and Denise needed a roommate. Ihadmoved in with her, so that wasn’t a total lie. But something inside me wanted to prove to him that Danny really did love me after all, so I told him the truth, and he told me I was making a horrible mistake.

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