FOUR
Eva
January 1988
“I’m just sayin’, Eva…this is some pretty cosmic shit. You and Denise going to college together, Denise knowing Matt, Matt and me being in the same band. And now hereweare.” Danny leaned against the wall, his arm draped over the back of the booth, offering me an opportunity to take him in.
“People run into each other all the time, Danny.” I’d been staring at him much too long, but I couldn’t tear my eyes away. “I wouldn’t read that much into it.”
“Right,” he said, dragging the word out and slowly nodding his head.
His hair was darker—dyed from brown to black—and fell to his shoulders, curling slightly at the ends. Several pieces swept across his eyes, almost down to the top of his perfectly straight nose. In his half-unbuttoned shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and his scuffed-up boot planted on the red leather seat of the booth, he reminded me of a younger Keith Richards. Effortlessly fucking cool.
I turned my head, letting my hair fall in my face to hide the warmth spreading across my cheeks, and watched as Denise and Matt flirted without a care—without any history to complicate things. She gave me the occasional glance across the table, making sure I was okay since I’d been far from it a couple of hours earlier. By the time she’d pulled me through the bar and into the bathroom, I’d broken into a cold sweat, and my lungs were squeezed so tight I was sure all the oxygen to my brain would be cut off. All of the cool I’d initially displayed in front of Danny had evaporated.
Denise ran her hands gently along my arms, repeatedly telling me everything would be all right until I could catch my breath.
“What do you wanna do, babe? We can leave right now. We can walk out that door, and you can forget you ever saw Danny Kincaid.” She scanned my face, and when I didn’t answer, she squeezed my hand. “I’m calling it. We need to go.”
“No, wait,” I said, my hand falling from her grasp as she started to walk away. “I don’t wanna go. I can do this.” A shaky confidence coursed through me, and I turned to the mirror and dug in my purse. “I want to make that motherfucker regret everything he did.”
Denise shook her head slowly. “Eva, I—”
“No, listen. I’ll flirt like hell with him all night. Make him think I’m still madly in love with him. And then, as we’re leaving—just when he’s thinkingI can’t believe I still get to fuck this chick after the way I treated her—I tell him to fuck off.” My hand trembled as I swiped a wand full of pink gloss across my lips. “It’s a good plan, right?”
Denise sighed and leaned against the wall. “You’re forgetting one thing, Eva.”
“What’s that?” I smacked my lips together and checked my reflection.
“Youarestill in love with him.”
I paused before reaching for a paper towel to dab at the splashes of cranberry juice on my tank top. Was that true? Was I still in love with him? As many drunken late nights as Denise had listened to me lament the end of our relationship, she hadn’t ever put things quite so plainly. But at that moment, the answer didn’t matter. Because I’d somehow convinced myself that even if I did still love Danny Kincaid, I hated him even more, andthatwas going to give me the strength to finally get the closure I so desperately wanted.
Two hours in, things were still going according to plan. I cleared my throat and picked up my drink, raising my eyes to Danny’s before taking a sip.
“So how’s Lena?” I asked, deciding to further poke the bear by mentioning his mother, who had unequivocally adored me from the moment she found out her underachieving son was dating a straight A student. “Still in DeKalb? She misses me terribly, right?”
He chuckled, then took a long drag off his cigarette. “Oh, I’m sure she does. And yeah, still there and still thinks all of this is just a phase—that I’ll come to my senses, move home, get a job, find a nice girl.”
I narrowed my eyes and tapped a fingertip against my lips. “You know, I seem to recall you had one of those once.”
“One of what?” His brows turned in, and his mouth formed into a crooked smile. “A nice girl?”
“Mm-hmm.”
Danny closed one eye and raised his chin before shaking his head. “Nope, don’t remember that.”
“Wow,” I said. “How quickly we forget.”
He paused for a moment, then let out a sharp laugh. “Oh, I’m sorry. Are you sayingyouwere that nice girl?”
I fingered the small jewel on my necklace. “What? You think I’m not nice?”
He leaned forward, the look in his hazel eyes so intense my stomach flipped. “I think I remember a hell of a lot more naughty than nice.”
“You know, it’s super creepy when guys say the wordnaughty.”
“I don’t know what else to call you letting me go down on you in the school—”