Page 118 of For Eva

“Denise, I swear to God.”

She laughed. “Okay, okay. So you talked to Eric. How’s he doing?”

“Good. He knows this guy starting a record label out here, and he wants to put us in touch. Like, maybe I could work for him.”

“That’s incredible!”

“Yeah, and then he, uh…Denise, you have to promise you won’t get allwhateveron me. Because I’m starting to wonder…I mean, I’m starting to think…”

“I promise, babe. What’s going on?” she asked, concern creeping into her voice.

“He told me I was beautiful.”

Denise was silent. No quips. No sex references.

“Are you still there?”

“Does that surprise you?” she finally asked.

“What?”

“That he said that.”

“I don’t know. I mean, we talked forfourhours. We ate fuckingdinnertogether on the phone. And I don’t know, am I crazy to think…” I massaged my forehead. “Fuck, I don’t know what to think.”

“All right, Eva,” Denise said. “I’m going to be serious here. No song jokes or sex jokes or any of that. I’ve told you time and time again he’s in love with you. He was your biggest fucking champion in that job with Keith. He wrote you postcards and letters after you moved back to Chicago. Nearly twenty years later, he told theRolling Stonereporter to find you and talk to you for the article. And then he called you himself and came to see you, and now you guys talk on the phone and email and text probably more than we do.”

“But I—”

She squashed my attempt to protest. “I’m not done. He’s also encouraged you to think about going back to work—to do something you love and you’re so fucking good at.Andhe’s supported you going to therapy so you can unravel all the things Aaron told you over the years that got you tangled up about who you are.”

I took a shaky breath and ran a finger below my eyelid to catch the liquid that spilled over. “But I can’t…Everything that happened with Danny, that can’t happen again, Denise.”

“Just because Eric’s a musician doesn’t mean he’s Danny. Danny was a selfish asshole who loved himself and who hewantedyou to be. And even though Aaron dressed things up in a suit and tie, he’s the same fucking person. Eric loves you for who youare, Eva. And I honestly don’t know how many other ways he can show it.”

The teardrops became too many to catch, so I let them roll down my cheeks.

“You still there?” she asked.

I swallowed and nodded as if she could see me, then closed my eyes and imagined my heart was a puzzle. I’d tried to put it back together after Danny had taken it apart, but I’d thrown away the piece that would make it whole for one that never quite fit. I couldn’t undo what I’d done, nor would I want to. Without Aaron, there would be no Drew, no Miles. But even though I had discarded the missing piece all those years ago, it had foundme. And I didn’t want to lose it again.

“Eva?”

“I love him, Denise.”

“I know you do.”

“I need to come out there.”

She chuckled softly, and I felt her smile through the phone, wrapping me up in warmth. “I know you do.”

SIXTY-FOUR

Eva

April 2009

“But I don’t understand why we can’t come,” Miles said, the words garbled around a mouthful of cinnamon bagel. “I wanna go on thatJurassic Parkride again.”

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