She shrugged and sighed. “I guess that’s true. I just keep wondering why I couldn’t be what he wanted.”
“Because you’reyou, Eva. And you’re amazing, so you don’t ever need to wonder that again.” I pressed my lips together to keep the words I wanted to say from tumbling out.
“Thanks,” she said, managing a smile.
“So,” I began, tapping my knuckles on the table. “Besides being amazing, tell me what you’ve been up to for the last nineteen years.”
She laughed, and I listened intently as she recounted her time in Chicago and moving to Nashville…about how she’d quither job five years ago at her husband’s urging but had often thought about starting back again. Her eyes gleamed with pride as she talked about her two boys, then crinkled with laughter as she explained how excited she’d been when they’d gone to their dad’s the day before…only to find herself missing them this morning when there was no one asking her for Lucky Charms.
“What aboutyou?” she asked.“I don’t recall the article mentioning a wife or kids.”
“Nah. I mean, I haven’t ever been against having kids. I think it’s more that I’ve been against having them with the people I’ve been in relationships with.” I chuckled, finally taking a swig of my coffee, which was now lukewarm. “I don’t know, just one of those things that never happened.”
A mischievous smile formed on Eva’s lips as she raised her brows. “So whatisEric Stratton’s relationship status these days? It’s been a while since I’ve seen any headlines about your love life, but I think I recall at one point you were with someone who may have just rolled off her parents’ health insurance?”
“Not true,” I insisted. “She’d been off for at least a year when we started dating.”
We both burst into laughter.
“Shewasyoung,” I admitted, clearing my throat. “And you’re right. Turns out she was only looking for health insurance, so, you know, it didn’t work out.”
Eva’s shoulders shook with laughter, and she covered her mouth. “Okay, okay. Tell me therealreason. I’ll be serious if you will. Promise.”
I sighed and ran my hand along my jaw. “You’re talking about Christina, right?”
She traced her fingers around the rim of her latte. “If you mean the former Hollywood ‘It’ girl, then yes.”
I nodded and chewed on my bottom lip. “Yeah. She’s a great person, and I cared about her, obviously. But she wanted thewedding, the kids, the whole nine yards. And that wasn’t where I was at. I figured if that was the case after six years, then I wasn’t ever going to get there.” I paused, taking another sip of my coffee. “Jesus. I sound like a total dick.”
But at that moment, sounding like a dick seemed like a safer bet than telling her the truth.
Itwas because she wasn’t you, Eva. No one could ever be you.
“No, you were just being honest with her and yourself,” she said, reaching for her cup. “You think you’ll want that eventually, though?”
Her tone wasn’t judgmental, but her question ruffled me, and heat rose to my face as my leg started to bounce once again.
“Uh, I mean, I…I don’t know,” I answered, doing my best to make sure my eyes didn’t meet hers for fear I might give myself away.
I wished for a minute she actuallywouldsee through me, but I knew that was selfish. The man she thought she was going to spend the rest of her life with had walked out on her, and she was obviously still hurting from it. This wasn’t the right time. And honestly, I wasn’t sure it ever would be.
“Uh-huh. Same ole Eric. Love ’em, leave ’em, kick ’em off the bus in the middle of Nebraska.” She cocked her head and smirked. “ItwasNebraska, right?”
I cringed. “Notmy proudest moment.”
She smiled. “Well, you have a lot to be proud of since then. All you’ve accomplished with your career and your sobriety. And now you’re opening this counseling center.”
“I’ve kinda had this dream for a while. Sometimes I look back and don’t know how I made it through everything. I’m just hoping this will be a place kids can come and know someone gives a damn about them. That maybe telling my whole storywill make them see they can survive whatever they’re going through.”
Eva reached for my hand. “That is so incredible, Eric. I mean it. All joking aside about shit that happened a million years ago. You completely turned your life around.”
I nodded. “I did. And I hope you know you were a huge part of that.”
She swallowed hard and sat back in her chair, her fingers trailing over my skin as she released my hand. “Maybe. When I was around. I really am sorry I sort of…vanished. I got caught up in life, I guess.”
“It’s okay, Eva. I’m just glad you’re here now. Thatwe’rehere now.”
“Yeah. Me, too.”