Page 98 of Seduce Me in Shadow

“It’s for the best.” I will her to understand. The sooner she can safely leave, the sooner I can resume my normal life and putmagic behind me. We can both live, if not happily ever after, at least without constantly looking over our shoulders.

“You’re being a coward.”

The slur pierces my chest like a flaming arrow. She doesn’t understand how much I fear mating or how much I hate magic. She’s never run happily through the grass with her laughing younger brother one moment, then watched errant magic hit him the next and die at her feet. She can’t fathom the devastation this war will bring. If I mate with her, she will be targeted for death. If I don’t find a way to exit this war soon, magic will not only change my life, but it will destroy hers for good.

Sadly, more explanations will only prolong the inevitable and change nothing.

“I’m sorry you feel that way.” I straighten my clothes and don my trainers.

“For the first time in my life, I thought I was falling in love with a man who liked and understood me, who didn’t think my theories were crazy. Who supported me. Even my own parents don’t.” Her voice is a low thing that throbs with pain, striking my heart. “If you’re going to kill my hope, help me understand.”

Love?She might love me? Bloody hell. Yet isn’t the reverse true? If I really consider the situation, I’m falling for my stubborn, brave, intelligent, and loyal-as-hell reporter.

What a bloody mess.

“They’re waiting for me on the training field.” I back toward the door. “You won’t believe me, but I never meant to hurt you.”

I cast one last glance at Sydney, looking so soft and kissable among the rumpled bed. Then, before I do something reckless, I leave, closing the door with a soft click behind me.

Chapter

Forty-Four

Sydney

Night descends and mealtime arrives. Bram, Ice, and Hurstgrove look sweaty and haggard after a long day of physical exertion and a fruitless evening of searching for Anka.

The one responsible for their sore muscles, Marrok, eats energetically, seemingly untaxed by the day’s hard work as he consumes nearly his body weight in food. How any one man can eat that much, I have no idea. His heated glances at his mate, Olivia, hardly escape my notice, either.

Everyone else ignores them. Especially Caden.

Seated beside me, he carefully avoids brushing elbows or looking at me. He says absolutely nothing. After my day of nursing Aquarius in a desperate attempt to cool her down, fending off a hundred questions during a brief phone call to Holly, scribbling thoughts about my next magickind story in a borrowed notebook, and trying not to feel my heart shattering into a million pieces—the distance he’s put between us hurts.

Maybe he’s come to care for me…but not enough to cross the chasm between us. He wants to abandon the very world I’ve been seeking my whole life. He has some dislike of magic I can’t fathom, and if he ever discovers that I wrote in that book to bring him to my bed, he’ll hate me.

“Any change in Aquarius?” Bram breaks the heavy silence.

I shake my head and pick at the tender meat on my plate. Guilt and heartache are appetite killers. “No.”

I suppose I should be thankful that Zain left my friend alive. I don’t know if his spell prevents her from dying from her injuries or if my efforts to keep Aquarius cool with compresses and ice packs helped. Whatever the truth, I’m grateful my resilient friend is hanging on.

Bram turns to his sister. “Did you call for Conrad, the healer? He’s had more experience than Millie, and he tended Marrok well enough a few weeks past.”

The blonde’s gaze skitters over Ice and lingers before she focuses on her brother. “He popped by earlier. Said he’s never seen anything like it. He can’t help, but suggested ahelbreselespell.”

“A what?” They’re speaking a language I don’t understand.

“It’s a healing spell. That would be lovely, but until Zain wakes and agrees to do his part, that’s impossible.”

So another dead end. Even if Zain was conscious, he likely won’t lift a finger to help Aquarius.

Sabelle turns toward Caden. “He also looked in on Lucan.”

Caden nods grimly. “I spoke with Conrad before he left.”

“Then he told you that we should try moving him to his own home? That he might improve with exposure to familiar surroundings?”

“Yes. I’ll prepare his room over the next day or two. Anka put up quite a fight, and some of the rooms are still in shambles. Once it’s ready, I’ll move him.”

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