Page 134 of Seduce Me in Shadow

A long silence follows, and I reach for my own bottle, swallowing the sting of the alcohol and letting it burn a path from my throat to my stomach.

“Let’s talk of something more pleasant,” Lucan suggests. “Tell me about the saucy redhead who left with the others.”

I tense. “Sydney Blair. She’s a paranormal reporter for a human tabloid.”

“She has feelings for you.”

Damn, Lucan has always been perceptive. I nod.

“You have feelings for her, as well. You’ve adopted a bit of her color in your signature. You haven’t spoken the Call, but she’s your mate.”

Too perceptive. “It doesn’t matter.”

“Would she refuse you?”

“Can we change the subject?”

“Talking about your problems gets my mind off my own.” Lucan grabs the whiskey and takes another swig with a lopsided grin. He’s had enough alcohol to numb his pain, and he has enough mischief to exploit my situation. Sod. “Would she say no?”

“She’d accept.”

“You haven’t mated with her because you want a witch?”

I snort. “You know I don’t.”

“Ah, you don’t love her, then.”

“I do.”

Lucan strokes his chin as if perplexed. “Is it because she’s against magic?”

“Quite the opposite. She persuaded Bram to allow her to transcast news of Mathias’s return.”

“The Council agreed?” Lucan looks genuinely shocked.

“No. Bram finally conceded that distributing the information without their blessing was best.”

“There will be hell to pay. Good for him, doing the right thing. Sydney wants to help, then? That’s why she’s transcasting, despite the danger?”

“Yes.” I sigh, knowing where Lucan’s line of questioning is headed. Might as well beat him to the destination. “And that is precisely why I haven’t spoken the Call. The more she involves herself in magickind, the higher up Mathias moves her name on his hit list.”

“You don’t want to lose her the way you lost Westin. Or the way I lost Anka.”

Either would devastate me. “Something like that.”

Lucan slams his bottle down and lunges in my face, bracing his fists against the back of the sofa, effectively pinning me in place. “You stupid sodding fuck! You have a woman who loves you and would instantly accept your Call. Yet you’re willing to flush your chance at happiness down the toilet to avoid possible pain.” He scoffs and backs away. “You have no idea?—”

“I do!” I shove Lucan aside and jump to my feet, anger roiling through my body. “You weren’t there when Westin died. I was!”

“It was an accident.”

He’s wrong. “That doesn’t make him any less dead. And then you… I saw you chained to a bed for weeks. I watched you with Sabelle.” Lucan winces, but I press on. “You nearly killed her for trying to save you. For as long as Anka stays in Shock’s bed, there will be an infinite hole in your heart. Why the hell would I sign up for that?”

“Because I wouldn’t trade a moment of what Anka and I had together. For any reason. It’s my own bloody fault for not protecting her, but I adore her. Love her. I never knew true happiness until I mated with her. Would I give up all that bliss because I’m hurting now? Never. You have the advantage, idiot. I didn’t find Anka until I was nearly three hundred. You’re notyet thirty. You and Sydney could have nearly a thousand years to enjoy each other.”

“Or she could fucking die tomorrow,” I shout. “She constantly puts herself in harm’s way. I do everything in my power to keep her safe, but she doesn’t want my protection. She’d rather ‘make a difference’ for magickind. How can I keep her safe from a monster like Mathias? Magically, I’m no match for him. Knowing my mate is in his clutches would kill me.”

“I’m living proof that it won’t.”

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