Page 62 of Love You Too

A bark of laughter explodes from her.

“No, I didn’t mean it like that. But you have the same drive as him, and look, it led him to do great things. He made Buttercup Hill into a legendary business. When you talk about your vision for the inn and the restaurants, you have the same passion he used to have. That’s what I meant. But you know where to draw the line. Especially lately. Since you’ve been with Ren, I see a difference.”

“Yeah? How?” I feel like a groundhog, gingerly creeping out of my hole and hoping to see my shadow.

“You’re…a little mellower. It’s a nice vibe. I guess that’s why I’m worried for you. I like this new you.” I nod, touched that she came in here on the pretext of flowers to check on me. “Okay, yeah. Since you asked, I guess I’m a little worried I trapped him into all of this. I mean, he’s a good guy. A standup guy. I think he wants to believe he loves me and that this time will be different, but…what if he’s confusing his emotions about fatherhood with his feelings for me?”

I perch on my desk, ankles crossed, facing her. Exhaling a long breath, I feel unburdened saying the words out loud. Maybe they’ll float away on the breeze and take my worries with them.

“He hurt you. Even if it was ten years ago, it can still sting alittle. And you don’t want to open yourself up to that again. I get that.” She opens her mouth to say more but shakes her head instead. “Maybe that’s why it’s a little hard for me to trust him now. I know, I’m just being overprotective.”

The idea of my little sister protecting me hits me right in the feels, and I feel myself tearing up. I don’t want her to think I’ve come completely unhinged, so I manage to choke back the sob forming in my throat. I look at my lap and instruct the tears to go back from where they came. I swallow over the lump in my throat, inhale a shaky breath, and look at her.

“Thank you. I appreciate you looking out for me. But I think it’s different. He wants to be a dad, and at the end of the day, if he doesn’t want me, I’m okay with that.” But his mother’s words continue to ring in my ears—he’s a good man who understands commitment. Maybe I’m taking advantage of his goodness and trapping him.

PJ smiles again and gathers the flowers we chose to make a bouquet. “I love these. They’re perfect.” There’s no point in bringing her down by voicing my concerns about whether I’ve baby-trapped Ren into being with me.

“Okay, good. That’s all I need to hear. You’re a good judge of character, so if you’re happy, I’m happy. And I’ll try to be nice to him when I see him.”

“I’m not worried.”

“But if he hurts you at all, I’ll go full-on frosty.”

I reach over and hug her. “I appreciate that you’d kick his ass if the need arises.”

“It’d better not.”

“It won’t,” I tell her, knowing Ren is committed to being a dad. I just don’t know if he’s committed to being with me.

CHAPTER 26

Beatrix

I’ve been staringdown for the past ten minutes, trying to see my feet. Yes, my feet.

Ren comes into my bathroom and finds me wrapped in a gray flannel bathrobe with a disposable razor in my hand.

The frown on his face matches my own. “Honey, what’s wrong? You look like Truman does when he can’t find his stuffed hedgehog.”

“It’s worse. I can’t find my feet.”

I’m four months along, and somewhere in the past week, my feet disappeared from view. “With the holidays around the corner, guess it’s the perfect time to ask Santa for some jumbo pajamas, and I’ll just wear them until May.” I think back on the leather pants I almost bought. That day feels a world—and a big baby bump—away.

Ren looks down to where, sure enough, my feet are probably right there at the ends of my legs, but that’s not the point.Seemingly overnight, I have “popped” and gone from looking like I ate a large lunch to the unmistakable pregnant vibe of carrying a watermelon under my shirt. There’s no mistaking that I’m quite pregnant, practically unrecognizable to my former self, the one who wanted to buy leather pants. Mallory’s point, well-taken.

I was waiting for this day, envisioning taking a slew of cute baby bump photos that would make me look whimsically fertile and cute, but now that it’s here, I feel overwhelmed by reality. This is a real person here inside me, and I’m in love with him. I wasn’t prepared for either one, but the latter scares me a lot more.

Because it’s Ren.

Stop-my-heart-in-its-tracks Ren, who reminds me of just why I fell for him years ago and makes me equally afraid of history repeating itself.

“You are exceedingly adorable, and I’m sorry you’ve lost your feet,” Ren says, kissing me on top of the head. “They’re right here, I promise.”

“Great,” I huff, not reassured by the fact that he can see something I can’t. I sit down on the toilet and try to bend forward, but that’s a no-go as well. My belly blocks the way to my lower legs, which was the point before I discovered the missing feet. I’m still holding the disposable razor, so Ren clues in.

“Is it the wrong time to tell you you’re gorgeous? Sad and disappointed, but still unmistakably gorgeous.” The way he looks adoringly at me nearly erases the injustice of not being able to balance on one foot. And there aren’t too many occasions where I need to do that anyway, so it’s a net-positive.

“Not the wrong time. Never the wrong time.” I tip my chin up and meet Ren’s lips gratefully. I’ve tried to tamp down the feeling that he and I might have a real future, but more and more, it seems possible. Soon, I’ll need to give up the fight and lean into the idea that it’s different now than it was ten years ago. I want to trust that Ren’s here for good.

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