Page 38 of Love You Too

I can’t help but laugh. “Maybe we should.”

It’s six in the evening, and I haven’t eaten all day. This is what happens when I wake up nauseous and spend several hours worrying about how Ren will react to my news.

The sun disappears behind the hills, but the sky still has that hopeful afternoon light that makes me believe in endless summers. It’s still warm enough for shorts, though Ren offers to swing by my house if I want to change. “I’m good. Let’s go someplace casual.”

We drive south on Silverado Trail, passing one winery after another. Tru naps in the backseat, and I watch the wind from the open window ruffle his wavy fur. I still feel leftover nerves, which translates into me yammering about the local history. “The owner of that one and his wife split, and she opened her own winery right across the road,” I say, pointing to the dueling signs that have similar fonts and similar names. “He took her to court, saying she ripped off his name and design, but he lost. Now, people assume they’re connected because they look so similar. When they visit his, they visit hers. So even though she’s brand new, she gets a ton of business.” I’m talking too fast.

We drive past another one and point to a wooded area where the road disappears. “That’s Meadow Hill. It’s kind of the goldstandard for expensive, small-batch wines. We’re watching what they’re doing very carefully. Everyone is.”

“Interesting,” he says, finally, when I let him get a word in.

“It is, isn’t it? If you live here long enough, you know everything about everyone.”

“So that means people will know about this in a minute,” he says, pointing at my belly.

“Oh.” I inhale a shaky breath at the idea. “I hadn’t really thought of that, but yeah. I guess they will.”

We continue driving, but my who’s who of the Buttercup Hill area has lost some steam. “That one’s been around for three generations. The kids all live out of town, so it’s not clear if there’s an heir to take it over,” I say, pointing vaguely to the left.

Ren puts a hand on top of mine. “I appreciate the greatest hits tour. But I can tell you’re working really hard not to talk about the elephant in the room.”

Another glimmer of warmth unleashes in my heart at how well he knows me. Even after all this time. It makes me a tiny bit excited about the prospect of raising a child with him, but that’s putting the cart way in front of the horse. This horse hasn’t even decided if he’s steady on his legs yet.

“I guess I don’t want to freak you out.”

“I’m not freaked out,” he says, keeping his eyes on the road.

“Okay, well, maybe you should be. It’s freaking me out that you’re so calm.”

He lets out a long breath. “I’m just…I don’t know…I guess I’m trying to take it one step at a time. First step seems like getting some food in you.”

I can’t help but chuckle. “That’s how we got into this trouble in the first place. You insisting on replacing my muffin.”

“Your muffin, indeed.” Ren smirks and I feel my face heat. His eyebrows bounce as we pull into the parking lot of a taco place. “Tacos okay?”

I nod, worried I’ll spew more innuendo if I speak.

At the little stand just outside of town, we order beef and chicken tacos and take them to a picnic table under a tree. The air between us feels heavy as we sneak looks and awkward smiles at each other and chew through the food. Maybe this is a new normal for us—uncomfortable silences.

Wordlessly, Ren answers my concern by coming around to my side of the table and sitting on the bench next to me. He puts his hand on the small of my back and rubs soothing circles. I never said my back was aching from the muscles stretching as my insides make way for a baby, but he knows.

Tentatively, I tip my head against his shoulder and sigh at the warmth of his body. His hand comes up to smooth my hair, and we stay like that, each lost in our own thoughts and maybe bound by a similar one—whatever this is, we’re in it together.

One hour later,we arrive back at Ren’s casita, and I stand in his driveway, expecting him to hug me and say goodbye. After all, I’ve given him a lot to think about, and I can see the fatigue etched on his face. Truman exits the car and takes off into the vineyards.

“Do you…want to come in?”

The obvious answer is that I need to go home. He’s just being polite, and I’m worn out from the anxiety of anticipating telling him my news and the emotions of rehashing our breakup.

“Sure. That’d be great.” Apparently, I have no control over my mouth.

Truman greets us happily, circling around our legs and getting his share of belly rubs before disappearing to his doggy bed.

“Can I get you anything?” Ren asks, turning to face me at the base of the stairs. I shake my head, still unsure why I stayed, but knowing I want to be here.

Ren meets my uncertain gaze and reaches for my hand. Interlacing our fingers, he brings them to his lips and softly kisses my knuckles. “I don’t know what this is.” His voice is a quiet rumble that sends a flood of sparks through my body.

Taking a step closer to him, I let out a slow breath. “Me neither. But I think I like it.”

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