Page 41 of The Spark Between Us

I needed to get a grip. I snapped off the cap and took it back to the ottoman, using crack ninja mind control to think about anything except Sarah soaking in the bathtub upstairs.

And…epic fail. I exclusively pictured her in the tub.

After a minute, she came back, hair in a ponytail, wearing a hoodie sweatshirt and a pair of shorts that made it impossible not to admire her long, shapely legs. She was probably in such great shape from pole dancing. Great. That opened up a brand new playground for images of Sarah shimmying around a metal shaft.

Fuck me.

“So,” she said, grabbing the bottle of wine and her glass from the kitchen and plopping down on the dark gray couch opposite where I sat. “How was your date? Did you have a nice time?”

Did she honestly want to know about my date? I knew she loved knowledge, but this seemed a little overboard. A grin played across her face, eyes sparkling like she cared and wanted to know. I couldn’t think of anyone I’d ever met like her.

I scrubbed a hand over my chin, reminding myself I needed to shave one of these days. “It was alright.”

“‘Alright?’ Come on, fireman, you can do better than that. Was it fun? Love connection? Or...is this not a conversation you want to have with your roommate?” She poured another half a glass of wine, and I took note that very little of the wine was left in the bottle.

“I don’t mind the conversation, but there’s not much to tell. Tonight...I’d say no, not a love connection.” I opted against telling her that part of the trouble was that I wished I was out with her instead.

I braced myself for her next question. She seemed infinitely curious about everything—there would be more questions.

“Sorry to hear you didn’t find the magic. Assuming you’re even looking for that...ack. There goes the patriarchy again, putting ideas into my head that relationships have to lead somewhere. Oops. Loveless fun is good...or...you know what I mean.” She waved a hand in front of her face as though to fan the idea from the room.

I held up a hand. “It’s fine.” I sipped my beer and put thoughts of love firmly from my mind.

Her eyes gleamed, and she tucked her legs under herself on the couch, which made it easier to look at her without feeling like I was gawking. “What do you look for in a woman?” she asked. I didn’t expect the question, and two weeks ago, I’d have refused to answer because I wasn’t really looking for anything. Intentionally.

But now...the only thing I could say for sure was that it didn’t freak me out as much to have the conversation.

I swallowed hard, understanding from her question that Finn hadn’t said anything about my past. It made sense—he conveyed information on a need-to-know basis, which was partly why we’d stayed friends for so long. He respected boundaries.

And while I could tell Sarah the same lie I’d been telling people for two years, the whitewashed version that seemed fit for public consumption, I felt like she deserved the truth. She’d been honest when I’d asked her questions, and it made me want to meet her halfway.

“I guess...kindness would be the first thing,” I said.

She laughed for a second. “Well, obviously.” Then her face grew serious and her cheeks reddened. “Sorry. I was thinking you were joking. But if you’re not, then yes. Kindness is something you should insist on.” She sipped her wine and stared into the glass.

“Don’t apologize. I know it might seem obvious to someone who is kind, but yeah, I ought to look harder for it.”

Her mouth tipped up on one side, and the way her gaze assessed me from head to toe was like a caress of silk against my skin. “You deserve it,” she whispered.

I swallowed thickly, unsure how to respond. I wanted to deserve her. No way in hell I planned to tell her that. No indication she agreed.

Sarah quickly raised her glass to her lips and looked away as she took a sip. Torn between wanting to go deeper with the conversation and worrying that I wasn’t ready to be so open, I defaulted to gruff guy generalities. “Anyhow, after someone being a generally nice person, I’d say I look for common interests and, you know, attraction.”

Her eyes flipped to me in almost comical seriousness. “Yeah? Way to be specific. Who’d have thought to include common interests and attraction in a compatible female?”

“Are you giving me shit about my answer?”

She shook her head dramatically and continued in a playful voice. “Not at all, you robot. C’mon, fireman. You can do better.”

If it wasn’t for those sparkling sunset pools she had for eyes and the fact that she was definitely a little bit drunk, I might have taken offense at her finger wagging. But she was damn cute.

“Okay, fine. You want more?” I shifted in my seat. Sarah nodded in anticipation, her grin spreading. Bella, who’d been curled up on her bed, seemed to be siding with her, suddenly looking at me from under quirking eyebrows. “Okay, here goes...” I took a deep breath and prepared to bare my soul, still not completely understanding why Sarah and the way she looked at me made me want to tell her everything.

“What do I look for in a woman?” I took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling as though it contained the answers. “It would be simple if all I had to do was make a list—must love dogs, like outdoorsy stuff, career aspirations a plus. I kind of don’t give a shit about any of that. Those things...come. In time.”

I chanced a glance at Sarah and saw her eyes locked on me, her jaw slack. Slowly, she nodded and I felt emboldened to continue. “It’s the intangible stuff that isn’t part of some list. A connection—I don’t know where the hell it comes from. That’s the magic. The way the entire world falls away when we’re in the same room. Like nothing else—no one else—matters. She knows me. And even though everyone else can feel her soulful inner beauty when they’re around her, she burns brighter for me.

“So I guess…I want a level of understanding where I instinctively sense her missing pieces. And give her whatever she needs to shine like she deserves. So it’s not about looking for a certain set of characteristics—liking the same movies or wanting to visit the same vacation spots—it’s about losing myself to be a part of her. So I don’t know that I’m looking for a ‘love connection’ as much as something that’s unbreakable.”

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