Page 63 of French Kiss

Almost like he intuited my train of thought, Josh turned to me suddenly. “Can I ask you something?”

“You can ask. No guarantee I’ll answer.”

“Fair enough… In all the time I’ve known you, I’ve always thought of you as someone liked to predict outcomes—”

“I’m a control freak. You can say it.”

“I’m not labeling. Whatever you want to call it… but where do you think that comes from?”

It wasn’t something we’d ever talked about. For a reason. I didn’t like to think about why I girded myself against disappointment and tried to control the results of every situation. “I guess it has something to do with my parents. I mean, they’re lovely midwestern people, but their marriage is a wreck.”

From what I could read in Josh’s calm expression, my answer didn’t seem to surprise him. Maybe everyone had issues with their parents. He put a hand on mine. “I’m sorry to hear that.”

“No, I mean, thank you. But it’s fine. I’m used to it now. But when I was younger, it really got to me. My dad would cheat on my mom and they’d separate for a while and there’d be all this drama, with her crying and him blaming himself and me in the middle. Then she’d take him back and he’d swear things would be different.”

“And let me guess, they weren’t different?”

I shook my head. “He’d just do it again. Cheat, fight, separate, repeat.”

“It’s starting to make some sense, you wanting to follow a plan and know the outcome.”

“I never thought much about why I was like that… but I know it has something to do with them. I probably had a subconscious belief that men would let me down. So I went out of my way to prepare myself for it. And everything else in my life.”

“And your folks, they’re still married?” I nodded. “Does he still cheat on her?”

I shrugged. “It doesn’t matter to me now. It’s their messed up world. I’m working on my own.”

“You’re doing a good job at it.”

“Thanks. But not so much in the relationship department. I kept picking guys I knew would let me down—like Maddox—because at least I knew what to expect, even if they were never going to lead anywhere.”

“You deserve better, Hannah.”

I looked at him, hoping he was talking about himself. He smiled. “I’m just starting to believe maybe I do.”

“You can trust me. I’d be insane to cheat on you. Seriously insane. Someone would have to lock me in an asylum because I’d be a danger to humanity. That insane.”

This guy. Why did it take me so long to see him?

I lost track of how long we stayed on the roof deck, and I didn’t bother to check my phone to find out. It didn’t matter. I had nowhere to be but there.

Eventually, the sun sunk lower in the sky, and a neighboring building threw our couch into the shade. Our wine bottle was empty. I felt good, light. I moved closer to Josh, who wrapped me in his arms and kissed my forehead. It was tender and sweet. His lips moved to my cheek, then to my lips. I slid a hand behind his neck and felt chills as he ran his tongue across my lower lip and gave it a gentle nip. That always got me.

I pressed my lips to his, and he kissed me a little deeper, making me want him a little more. He kept drawing me in. I didn’t want to fight it.

If we’d had a blanket, I’d have spent the entire night on that roof. I’d have hid somewhere until the place closed down and we could have the whole sky to ourselves. I’d have done anything Josh suggested. What was happening to me, the one who was always in control, never surprised by my own emotions?

Josh got up to pay the bill before I knew that’s what he was doing. I didn’t want him to keep paying for everything. Dinner would be on me. I’d insist.

“Time to move on?” he asked.

“Time to eat. You think?”

“Totally. What sounds good to you?”

“I dunno, Italian?” I asked.

“Really?”

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