Page 34 of French Kiss

“Oh, that. I don’t know.”

“You do know,” she said, and I realized she was right. I knew what I wanted to do, but I’d had enough time to talk myself out of thinking it was a good idea.

“It doesn’t seem smart,” I said.

“Great love never seems smart.”

“I’m not sure we’re at great love caliber. This may just be great affair status,” I said.

“All the more reason. You’re on holiday, aren’t you?”

“I am, even if I’m having trouble remembering how to relax.”

“Cheers to that.” Amrita laughed and sipped the dregs of her drink, some kind of cocktail with a cucumber floating in it. She took out the slice of cucumber and took a bite. “Oh shit, that thing is soaked in alcohol,” she said, popping the rest of it in her mouth. “Well, I say great affair in Europe trumps great love any day.”

Sitting on Prinsengracht with Amrita, I couldn’t help but agree. “Yeah, and if that’s all it is, so be it. But I feel like I need to find out. We’ve been friends all this time, and now I need to know. Maybe he’s the guy I’m meant to be with, only all my rationalizing has gotten in the way of just admitting it.”

“I can see that,” Amrita said. “And from what you’ve told me, I’d say he’s into it. A guy doesn’t say all that stuff about watching sunsets if he isn’t picturing snogging you on a bridge somewhere.”

“Well, that’s Maddox. He does tend to turn stuff into these rhapsodic speeches that make everything sound like a rom-com.”

“Does he do that with everyone?”

I thought about it. In the years I’d known Maddox, he’d definitely singled me out for his more romantic soliloquies. Even if he was talking about women he was dating, the dreamier fantasizing was something he saved for me. “I don’t think so.”

“Then you have your answer.”

“Answer to what?” Shelby asked, coming back outside with a tray of drinks for us and a small dish of peanuts and a panini for me. “Here you go, pretty lasses.”

“You work here now?” Amrita asked. “I’ll give you a nice tip, m’lady.”

“Yeah, you will.” Shelby handed each of us our fresh drinks and put the empties back on the tray, which she took inside. Amrita held her fresh drink up to mine for a toast. I liked her, and I was glad Shelby had met someone who seemed so good for her.

Shelby and I had fallen seamlessly into old habits we’d developed over the years we’d lived together, finishing each other’s sentences and knowing what the other wanted without having to ask, which was why she’d headed into the bar to buy a second round without asking if we were ready. And she knew me well enough to come back with snacks, without which I’d be a drunk mess before the end of the next beer.

I’d been a little worried about how it would be traveling with Shelby and Amrita together, and I wondered if I’d immediately be demoted to third-wheel status and feel like I was intruding on their romantic vacation. It hadn’t been that way at all. Other than their occasional urge to make out in public places, which Europeans seemed to do as a matter of course, we were the three amigas navigating the streets of Amsterdam, of one mind about where to go and what to do.

In our four days together, there hadn’t been a single disagreement. We’d gotten past our jetlag and agreed about which sights we wanted to see in Amsterdam and on how much time we wanted to spend just doing nothing.

The beauty of all of us coming off of grueling work schedules was that no one felt hell-bent on grinding through a dozen museums in a day and putting twenty kilometers on our shoes just so we could say we’d seen everything. While I was always happy to visit a city and have reasons to come back—gardens unvisited and restaurants untried—not all people had the same outlook. But our group had melded seamlessly.

Shelby came back outside and sat between us. “Okay, what’d I miss?”

“I told Hannah she needs to go meet Maddox,” Amrita said.

“Ah, we’re back on Maddox. I’m so glad I didn’t miss this part.” Shelby settled in like she was ready to watch a fantastic movie.

“Yes, I know he was the last guy you shagged,” Amrita said. “I don’t need to hear the whole story of that again.”

“Wow, jealous?”

“Hardly. I like him much better for Hannah, is all,” Amrita said.

“Oh, I get it. You want to get Hannah and Maddox all coupled off so you don’t have to picture him with me,” Shelby said, leaning over to kiss Amrita on the lips. “You know you have nothing to worry about, right, honey?”

“I know,” Amrita said. “Can we talk about Hannah? I said I think she should go to Paris.”

“Yes, you should go. You’re in Europe, one romantic city after another. Look at this place. Paris is even more gorgeous—sunsets over the Seine, gardens, wine, chocolate. Go have fucking-great sex. Maddox will not disappoint,” Shelby said. Amrita punched her in the shoulder. “Sorry, but it’s true.”

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