“Of course not.”
“Then why make up all that bullshit about Maddox? Did you really think that was the only way I’d want to be with you?”
“Well, wasn’t it?” he asked. “Let’s be honest. You couldn’t even see me when Maddox was around.”
I didn’t know how to answer him. It was true. He and I never would have spent the afternoon together, and maybe I never would have seen him in a different light, had I not felt bruised over Maddox. But that didn’t matter now.
“That’s not the point,” I said, feeling defeated.
I didn’t want Josh anywhere near me. And knowing me as well as he did, Josh understood. Without a word, he took his clothes into the bathroom and two minutes later he emerged, dressed. I could see the sadness in his eyes, and a part of me felt for him as my friend, because I knew he had more to say, and I knew he was hurt. But I couldn’t be there for him.
Josh took a few steps closer to me, looking like he had more to tell me. “I’m sorry” was all he said. Then he turned, and the door closed behind him.
I could hear his feet walking down the hallway and starting down the stairs, and I had a tiny urge to call him back. Maybe we could talk it through. Yet I couldn’t get up. I was still shaking and just beginning to feel the pain of his betrayal. The tears welled up, and I let them pool in my eyes until they ran down my face. I knew I’d be okay if I allowed my emotions to wear themselves out, so I hauled my sobbing self into the shower and let the water mix with my tears until I had nothing left but a dull feeling of exhaustion that sleep couldn’t remedy.
The sunlight was still streaming insistently through my window, begging me to follow it out into the world and leave the memory of the previous night behind in the hotel room. It seemed like a good idea, so I pulled myself together. I’d make the most of the day in Paris, which had so much to offer even if the romantic part had been a bust. But before I went anywhere, I needed to make a phone call.
“Hey!” Shelby said when I facetimed her a few minutes later. I’d thought I was done crying, but seeing her face and hearing her voice had the effect of a spigot dumping my feelings out all over again.
After I spent a few minutes explaining what had happened, Shelby said, “Sit tight, hon. We’ll be there on the next train.”