Page 42 of Releasing Reenie

“I have some cuffs, a bit of rope, and some bondage tape, so we are going to use those. Work with what we have.”

“Okay.”

Trent frowned, his disappointment evident. “What was that?”

Before I could answer, he hooked my chin between his fingers, and tilted my face up so I was required to look at him.

“Reenie, you have to answer me correctly. This is difficult for you, I know, so I need you to make an intentional choice to submit to me, and to put yourself in that mindset in every moment.” His stern expression softened. “I know it’s difficult, Reenie, but it’s very important. Promise me you’ll try.”

“I promise,” I vowed.

The truth was, he had no idea how not hard it was. Submitting to him… felt like coming home. Like doing what I was always meant to do. And how was that even possible? I was a Domme. I was comfortable being a Domme. I was, with theexception of tonight, very good at it. The first time I’d wielded an implement in the direction of a naughty submissive, I’d felt a wholeness, a rightness, like I was where I was meant to be, doing what I was meant to do.

But this… this was something different.

“Okay,” Trent agreed, seemingly appeased by my answer. “Stay there.”

I had to watch as he used the ropes to affix cuffs to his bed frame, where my ankles would go.

When he called me over to him, I came. Without hesitation.

I lowered myself face down, bent over his mattress, and cooperated while he fastened the leather cuffs to my ankles then used another set to hold my hands behind me, at the middle of my back.

I had far more give than I would have had on a spanking bench, but not enough to escape. Not that I would have wanted to.

In my mind, I knew how big of a deal this was, how hard it should be. But in my heart, I just… wanted it. For a multitude of reasons.

“Have you ever been spanked before, Maureen?” Trent’s voice rang out behind me.

“No, Sir.” Had my mother been one for physical discipline, I’d have probably been an abused child, but her method had been to tear me down emotionally.

“Okay, then. I’m going to do something I normally wouldn’t do for a punishment, and give you a short warmup with my hand, just to get you used to the sensation and to get the blood flowing to prevent bruising.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“This is a punishment, so you won’t be able to safeword out of it, but you have your safe words to let me know if something is wrong and we need to pause or reassess, renegotiate.”

“Yes, Sir.” The mention of safe words brought a fresh wave of shame, and I resolved that I wouldn’t use them at all unless I had no other choice.

“We’ll use the traffic-light system.”

“Yes, Sir.”

“All right, we’re going to begin now. Are you ready?”

“Yes, Sir.”

Those two words were apparently all he’d been waiting for. As soon as they left my lips, his hand fell hard across my upturned bottom, first on my right cheek, then my left. The pain was shocking, but not unbearable. The humiliation of it, of letting this man, this colleague spank my bare bottom as if I were an errant child… that was something else entirely.

Fresh shame burned my cheeks, and tears filled my eyes from the first swat. I was suddenly questioning all my life choices, including the one where I’d thought this was a good idea.

The submissive feelings that had been present only moments before fell away. I fought against the restraints as panic bubbled in my chest. This wasn’t right. It wasn’t who I was. It hurt, and it scared me.

“Fear. Fear of not being in control.” It was Trent’s voice that echoed my inner thoughts as he paused to rub soft circles on my lower back. “That’s what you’re feeling, Reenie, and it’s a completely normal feeling. Even for someone who is submissive by nature. You’re okay.”

But I wasn’t sure that was true. Sure his words made sense, but it was deeper, right? For me? It had to be.

“Do you trust me? Do you trust yourself?” His calm words broke through my inner panic.

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