Page 24 of Releasing Reenie

A prick of panic rose in me. We’d gotten somewhere today, her walls had been lowered. Her leaving meant I could lose all momentum.

I gathered a breath and stood. Patience was what Maureen needed, and I was good at that. I could give her whatever time she needed because she was worth waiting for.

She walked to the kitchen, rinsed her cup, and set it in the sink. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Taking a risk, I smiled, reached out and pulled her into my arms.

“You’re such a caregiver, honey, and I love that about you. Always have. Thank you. I’ll be fine.”

She stayed in my arms longer than I expected, sinking into me. I hugged her tighter, instinctively knowing it was what she needed.

“Thanks for the run,” she said, easing out of the hug after another thirty or so seconds.

“Did it help?”

“It was a distraction but…” She let her words trail off.

“It didn’t?”Not even the sex? I wanted to ask. I wondered if it was because it was too vanilla for her.

“Not much.” She licked her lips. “But the sex…” She smirked. “That was a distraction.”

I laughed. “Agreed.”

And then her face grew serious. “Have you met anyone here?”

“Met anyone?” I was thrown a little by the abrupt change in conversation.

“A good play partner, or whatever.” She turned, reaching for the door handle.

“I’ve played, but I’m not much for casual encounters beyond that, if that’s what you mean, but it occasionally happens.”

Her eyes flicked to mine. “Me either. I mean I’ve never had a play partner who wasn’t just casual, and those never go beyond the basic Dungeon scene.” She chewed the inside of her lip. “I mean it’s never been sexual.”

I was reminded of her statement in the heat of the moment.I haven’t been with anyone in over three years.

“Ever settle for vanilla sex, Trent?” Maureen twisted the handle and I got the sense she wanted to run but was forcing herself to stay for the answer.

“Settle?” My gut tightened. I didn’t want her settling for anything with me if that’s where this was going. And I wouldn’t settle either.

“You know what I mean.” She swallowed. “Be with someone to fill an ache…”

“I don’t know if I’d call it settling but, yes I’ve had relationships with women who weren’t into power dynamics, but not to scratch an itch. I loved them. Fell in love with them before I knew we weren’t compatible.” I shifted my jaw, thinking of women I’d fallen for, loved, and then split with, because I’d never been fulfilled and they’d felt it no matter how hard I tried to hide it. It’s why I decided not to wait to make my needs known from the get-go.

“But I also decided that wasn’t for me. It’s not something I can live with. I know I told you that when…” I paused and considered my phrasing. I needed to tread lightly with her. And I’d said I’d stop throwing our past in her face and I meant it.

“When we went out.”

She answered for me. and I nodded.

“What’s this about, Maureen?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know. I just…” She tugged the door open and smiled at me. “Have a good evening, Trent. Let’s run again.”

And she was gone, her walls back up and armor in place, and I was left watching the door close on whatever might have happened had I not been so adamant.

As much as I felt disappointment, I also knew I was doing the right thing. Maureen had to work through this on her own. She had to find herself and decide what it was she wanted without my influence.

CHAPTER 12

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