Page 53 of Between Our Hearts

Clarity hit Sadie like an orthopedic hammer to the temple. Itwasincredibly rare what she and Clark had. And she’d spent the year selfishly trying to sort through her own grief without considering his. At the park, he’d said it had been hard on him, but even in that moment, she hadn’t offered solidarity, hadn’t supported him. She’d only worried about how hard it was for her to open up. If she kept going on like this, keeping everything inside, her marriage would be over.

Adrenaline surged through her body until it felt like the fine hairs on her arms were burning. She needed to show Clark the rest of the flowers. She had to be completely honest with him. And then she needed to make space inside herself to take inhis emotions—his fears, grief, worries. Clark had always been so affable and capable, she’d never considered having to support him, but he was as much of a bereaved parent as she was. He needed Sadie to be better—to listen and commiserate and to be capable of taking on his emotional burden.

Much like Parker did right now. Her courageous friend was in pain and needed her support.

Sadie quickly covered her friend’s hand with her own. “I’m sorry things didn’t work out with Ivan.” She paused to swallow her discomfort. “Why don’t you tell me what happened?”

Parker gripped Sadie’s hand while the other one brought the remaining gulp in her glass to her lips. “No. I’ve already been too much of an ass with my outburst. I’ll be okay. I always am.”

She squeezed her fingers. “You don’t have to be, you know?”

“Yeah. Yeah.” The winking orange tabby inked over Parker’s right shoulder bounced as her friend’s gaze skirted to the side. “Can we focus on something else?”

“No.” Sadie surprised herself with her answer. Her brain had already been ready with an affirmative response and a distracting surgical story. “I mean, I think it will be better—that you’ll feel better—if we talk about it. Just a little bit.”

Parker tugged on a long strand of hair in front of the barely-there straps of her dress, and Sadie’s chest ached watching her friend struggle with her words. So many times that had been her.

“I just—I think I’m ready for something else. Dating Ivan wasn’t like all the other quick and casual relationships I usually engage in. I tried to be”—her eyes focused on the potted plants behind Sadie’s shoulder—“more me. I figured it worked for you, why not try it?”

Sadie nodded, not sure if she should just listen or try to say something.

“But it didn’t work out. And because I didn’t keep my cards close, I’ve had this naked feeling following me around all week.” Her friend offered a weak grin. “I know I usually walk around half-naked, so you’d think I’d be used to it.”

A sympathetic expression pulled at Sadie’s face. “I know what you mean. When I finally told Clark how hard this year has been on me, I felt like someone had stolen my skin and all my organs were on display.”

“Is that enough talking?” Parker fiddled with her empty glass. “I’ve heard the phrase ‘sharing is caring,’ but I was hoping that would apply more to appetizers than my innermost workings.”

Sadie almost snorted her wine but managed to swallow the liquid a second before their server arrived to check on them.

After they ordered a variety of items, Sadie leaned back on her stool, her brain reeling with the right thing to say. “Since you’re catching flies, do you want me to be your wingwoman tonight? I can run home and change into that ridiculous dress you made me buy.”

Parker’s lips lifted in a woeful smile. “I must really be a train wreck if you’re offering to wear a dress for me.”

The bold flavor of the wine burned the top of Sadie’s throat. “I’m sorry. I was trying to make you feel better, but I suck at this.”

A chuckle burst from her friend. “No more than I do. We are two bumbling toddlers here. Honestly, I’d love it so much right now if a car would jump the curb and drive into the side of the restaurant to give us a chance to show our strengths. Because this talking nonsense is crap.”

Unexpected laughter overtook Sadie so swiftly that a sheen of tears tugged at the edges of her vision, threatening to fall freely to the lacquered table-top.

“Imagine it.” Parker spread her hands wide in front of her chest, her eyes lit up. “Boom. Crash. Is there a doctor in the house? And then we run to the rescue.God, wouldn’t that be nice? You wouldn’t even have to worry about trying to get blood out of your clothes later. You’re already in scrubs.”

Honestly, that sounded like heaven.

“Are we bad people for wanting that right now?”

Parker snorted. “No. We’re emotionally stunted adrenaline junkies, maybe, but not bad.” She looked longingly at the traffic flying by the restaurant patio. “How’d Clark like that dress, by the way? I never asked.”

Distracted by the idea of setting bones in the field, her cheeks pinked before she could stop them.

A devious twist lifted one side of Parker’s mouth. “Uh-huh. That’s what I thought. You should wear it to graduation tomorrow.”

Sadie folded her arms, intentionally cooling her face. “It’s a professional event. I’m wearing a pantsuit.”

“Fine.” Parker rolled her eyes before they rested on her water glass and her shoulders drooped. “Actually, do you think it would be okay if I watched Lottie tomorrow? I know it’s been a while, but I think I need a change of pace. The bar scene is obviously not working for me right now. I think it might”—she looked up—“be good for me.”

“Of course. Lottie would love that.”

“Andbonus, your daughter can only string a few words together, so she won’t require much from me verbally.”

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